Since I last blogged we moved into my parents' house for a month. Our apartment lease was up and the cottage we are moving into isn't finished being renovated, so we are here for August. I am still working, from home. This is tricky because I'm not naturally organized and with limited space I tend to feel kind of overwhelmed. We took the MPRE, which for those that don't know is the ethics part of the NY bar. Hopefully I passed, although who knew it was against the professional code of conduct to bribe a judge? We had a small family shower this last weekend, mainly for the purpose of not having to invite the family to the big friends shower in October. My mom's family didn't show up, which upset her and delighted everyone else. It was very nice but I was soooo tired afterwards. In another week we leave for GA, which I'm so excited for, but also stressed about getting ready. My job is great in that I love it, but I have trouble staying on schedule since I'm working from home.
Time has been flying!
I'm glad but also so afraid that I won't be able to get everything done that I need to do. I sometimes have what I call Juggler syndrome. I will have a few balls in the air, and I'll be doing ok. Then something else will be thrown in, and all of a sudden I just drop everything. I can't do anything because I'm so worried about everything all at once. The trick at that point is to know my limit and willingly choose to ignore some of the balls on the floor while I take care of the priorities. The other problem is that a lot of times the squeaky wheel gets the grease. In other words, I prioritize the balls that complain the most. This becomes a problem because in general, God does not demand my time from me by knocking on my door, calling or texting, or emailing me.
So here goes. These are the balls that I absolutely have to concentrate on right now:
1) I MUST pray! I'm about to go through major life changes, make huge decisions, become a mom. There is no way I can drop this ball. I've got to prioritize the Lord during this time if I want my life to mean anything. For me this means not only do I need to pray and read the Bible, I have to make a time a place to do this everyday. I need a time when I put down all the other balls and just get to know God better. I need to tithe joyfully, even though I am stressed about paying off my credit cards. I need to take the time to read those Christian parenting books, even though I'm sick of reading for work. Basically, if I want to keep anything else in the air, I need divine strength to do it, there's no chance I'll make it on my own!
2) I have to do a good job at work. Right now I spend a lot of time stressing about work, but not enough taking care of business. My boss has been very patient because she knows how busy I am, but I want to really show her that I can do a great job, and be a good witness to her.
3) I need to remember my friends! I never have a problem spending time with my family, because they are always there and it is very easy to make time for them. However, I am a notoriously bad friend. (I remember birthdays two days after they occur, I check facebook all the time, and then forget to check at all for two weeks, I make plans and then get absorbed in keeping up another ball, I let my cell phone go dead for a day and then forget to listen to my voicemails) Examples: I made plans with JO'D to go to Panera last week, then started to panic about taking the MPRE the next day, studied all night, then remembered the next day that I was supposed to go have fun. By then my phone was dead. Another friend from high school is getting married (I had no idea) and called last week to get my address for the wedding. I had no idea until Greg checked my voicemail for me. Two of my best friends from college helped us move from Newark to my parents' house. They worked all day in the heat, Drew moving furniture, Deb scrubbing my bathroom, etc. I haven't called them since that day to invite them to the beach. I think the act of letting go of some other balls will help with this one. If I can manage to do my work on time and not stress about it all the time, I should be more relaxed so that I can spend time with my friends and not feel guilty about it.
4) Take care of the body for Babybyrd's sake. This should be a no-brainer, but I frequently forget to eat, take vitamins, and drink enough water. When I get dehydrated, I start to get cramps/contractions. This happens way more often then it should. I also need to get to bed on time, even if there are things to do.
These are the balls that are going to have to stay on the floor for a little while: Excessive worrying about our trip to GA next week, school starting, the renovations at our little cottage, moving in Sept., Christmas shopping, Greg getting a job when we graduate, Babybyrd becoming a drug addict, running out of money, my sister getting pregnant, my parents' retirement funds, my friends and family never knowing God personally, C-sections, episiotomies, breastfeeding, making baby food, pottytraining, homeschooling, random horrible accidents, whether or not I passed the MPRE, how I did in my summer classes, and whether I will pay off my credit cards before the baby gets here.
