My surgery was supposed to happen last Friday, but has now been postponed until July 1st. The reason for the wait was the conversation that took place with my doctor earlier in the week. We went over the details, what I needed to do, when to get to the hospital, etc. At the end of the appointment, I asked one last question that had occurred to me just that morning. "There's no way I could be pregnant, right? Not when I've been bleeding all this time...." Wrong. And so we will wait another two weeks so that I can take a pregnancy test to make absolutely sure that the procedure won't interrupt anything. I was so frustrated when I walked out of his office. (I'm fairly certain I am not pregnant, but I just have to be sure.) How could I make it another almost three weeks? I was even more confused, because the day before the appointment I had prayed and really just cried out to God about this, and I really felt like He told me that I would be healed soon.
When I got home I spent some time with a friend of mine who had come over to watch Henry while I visited the doctor. (I am blessed to have this good friend who really loves and cares about my son, so I don't feel like I have to ignore him when she is over, she is content to do things that he likes to do.) As we watched Henry play I was reminded of how amazing it was that God used what I was seeing as random events to create such a perfect, marvelous boy. Not only is he beautifully designed, but he has brought so much joy to our entire family. Because of Henry, I'm not working at a job I hate, I'm excited to get up every morning and I'm smiling all day. I appreciate Greg in a whole new way, and in many ways our relationships with our parents are deeper and fuller because they are grandparents. If things had happened according to my plan, I would have missed out on what is now the best part of my life.
Taking a step back to look at what God has done in the past has helped me see that He is working all things for our good. Now if only I could use that knowledge to stop worrying about the future....
It has been 6 days since I spoke to the doctor, and I have had no symptoms at all. I don't know if God just chose to heal me or what. I am just trying to live one day at a time in faith and trust. In the meantime, I will take care of my son, and try to remember that He really does know what He's doing.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
And it continues...
I am not having the procedure tomorrow, they couldn't fit me in. I am just so sick of feeling this way. I am counting the days until next Friday. I just want to know what's wrong with me!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Another Update
Things are finally starting to get back to "normal" around here. Last week on Thursday we made an unexpected road trip down to Georgia because my husband's Grandpa got very sick. He actually passed away when we were about half way there. It was sad that we didn't get to see him one last time before he passed away, but good to be with the family. Henry cheered everyone up a little. He is the only great-grandchild, and it was nice I think to have a baby around.
Instead of a funeral we basically just had a big party with the family and afterward just sat around telling stories about Grandpa Byrd. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to take time away from his kids and grandkids, but I was thinking about the first time I met him. I came into his house and he was sitting at the kitchen table fiddling with tools and parts of what looked like a small engine. I sat down and asked him what he was doing, and he said that the mechanism that rolled up the car window was broken, and he was replacing it ... with the motor from a blender he found on the side of the road. Most of the stories were like that, about how he tried to fix everything himself, about how he invented and crafted and rigged.
It made me smile to think about how Henry is the same way, even at his age. When he comes across a toy it's always flipped over immediately and he is touching the screws, the places where it's joined together, trying to figure out how it works, and how to take it all apart. It looks like Henry inherited some of Grandpa Byrd's ingenuity.
In terms of my health issues, I talked to the Dr. as we were driving down to GA on Thurs. night. He had given me progesterone to stop my bleeding and it had worked for about a week before it started again. I went back up to two pills a day but it didn't help. He said that the next step would be to do a D & C, which scared me. I asked my father in law about it (also an OB) and he agreed that that would be the only thing to do if the pills don't work.
I will probably have it done this coming Friday, if they can fit me in. At this point my nervousness is superseded by my need to just be done with this. I feel so crappy right now and I feel like I spend all day drinking water and taking pills just to manage. I asked the Dr. what the causes could be and he basically listed everything from polyps to cancer, so I don't even know how worried I should be at this point, I'm kind of just trying not to think about it. All this has made me realize how much having a big family meant to me, and facing the possibility of that not happening is just too much for me to process, so I think I'm just pushing it aside for now until I know more.
On the brighter side, my mom-in-law is visiting this weekend with her fiance, and Greg and I hit up some of the garage sales in OG today. Flea market day is always great for garage sales, and we found some games for Henry that I had been considering buying new. Also Greg bought a pair of roller blades for 5 bucks that actually fit him! So much for looking professional around town! We've also made some headway with our business plans for next year, and some of the obstacles we were worried about have been removed! So all in all, life is good!
Instead of a funeral we basically just had a big party with the family and afterward just sat around telling stories about Grandpa Byrd. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to take time away from his kids and grandkids, but I was thinking about the first time I met him. I came into his house and he was sitting at the kitchen table fiddling with tools and parts of what looked like a small engine. I sat down and asked him what he was doing, and he said that the mechanism that rolled up the car window was broken, and he was replacing it ... with the motor from a blender he found on the side of the road. Most of the stories were like that, about how he tried to fix everything himself, about how he invented and crafted and rigged.
It made me smile to think about how Henry is the same way, even at his age. When he comes across a toy it's always flipped over immediately and he is touching the screws, the places where it's joined together, trying to figure out how it works, and how to take it all apart. It looks like Henry inherited some of Grandpa Byrd's ingenuity.
In terms of my health issues, I talked to the Dr. as we were driving down to GA on Thurs. night. He had given me progesterone to stop my bleeding and it had worked for about a week before it started again. I went back up to two pills a day but it didn't help. He said that the next step would be to do a D & C, which scared me. I asked my father in law about it (also an OB) and he agreed that that would be the only thing to do if the pills don't work.
I will probably have it done this coming Friday, if they can fit me in. At this point my nervousness is superseded by my need to just be done with this. I feel so crappy right now and I feel like I spend all day drinking water and taking pills just to manage. I asked the Dr. what the causes could be and he basically listed everything from polyps to cancer, so I don't even know how worried I should be at this point, I'm kind of just trying not to think about it. All this has made me realize how much having a big family meant to me, and facing the possibility of that not happening is just too much for me to process, so I think I'm just pushing it aside for now until I know more.
On the brighter side, my mom-in-law is visiting this weekend with her fiance, and Greg and I hit up some of the garage sales in OG today. Flea market day is always great for garage sales, and we found some games for Henry that I had been considering buying new. Also Greg bought a pair of roller blades for 5 bucks that actually fit him! So much for looking professional around town! We've also made some headway with our business plans for next year, and some of the obstacles we were worried about have been removed! So all in all, life is good!
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