We are fine, first of all. We were evacuated from our home on Monday and drove through the beginnings of the storm to Pennsylvania where we've been until now. My sister's family and my parents went back Tuesday to assess the damage to the house. We had about 4-5 ft. of water in the basement. (The basement where Greg and I stored all our stuff :( )
Luckily we had just unpacked a ton of boxes so the damage was not as bad as it could have been. The loss of our stuff is not so much about money, or the stuff itself, but sort of what it represented to me. Greg is almost happy, to him having too much is just a burden. But for me, a little stockpile is a security blanket; one that has been swiftly ripped away.
It turns out we have renter's insurance. We will easily reach the limit. I'm making a list of our belongings and what it would cost to replace them, but I know that if we get any money it will just go toward paying off debt. It's not the worst trade off really.
These days in the hotel have been odd. I can't sleep with worrying about our friends back in NJ, although it seems now that everyone is ok, at least physically. I want desperately to work at something, to clean, to fix, to prepare. But I also know that I can't bring my kids back to a house that's full of sewage. I want to pretend like we're just on vacation, that everything is fine; but I also feel guilty that we are clean, warm, and fed, when others are in such bad situations.
The plan is to go back tomorrow. We will see.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Still Alive
We are insanely busy. We get colds about every other week. We are becoming members of the church we've been attending for about three years. We are starting a new couples small group closer to where we live. We do preschool every morning, and have learned about Adam and Eve, Noah, and Joseph.
I have done about 100 house projects, Greg has done 100 more, and together we have 100 left. More or less. I have started to work from home more. I love making money :) I feel insecure about my house and my clothes sometimes, and confident most of the time. I am on a diet, but not too strict because I am still EBing Stella, with a little solid food for good measure. I am planning a birthday party for Henry, and sewing my kids Halloween costumes they will be embarrassed by later, and trying to find the time to have their pictures taken, and planning our trip away for Henry's real birthday, and making Christmas gifts, and planning our Thanksgiving road trip.
Greg is faithful, strong, honest, persevering, loving, gentle, kind, patient, and good. Greg is obsessed with his favorite board game and wants to play whenever I'm willing. Greg takes me shopping and entertains the kids while I walk around a store alone when I really need a break from life. Greg is the giver of baths, the reader of bed-time stories, and the sender of texts to our friends. Greg tries to believe the best of people. Greg eats peanut butter out of the jar.
Henry is sweet, and smart, and brave. Henry climbs over each pew at church, then runs to the front to start over again. Henry reads small words, but only when he wants to. Henry's response to the story of the Fall of Man was, "Ok! let's get some fruit snacks!" Henry talks to himself. Henry sits in the bath for an hour if you let him. Henry is always sweet to his sister. Henry is sick often. Henry eats peanut butter from the jar.
Stella is the light of my life. She makes me smile even as I'm being woken up in the dead of night. Stella very rarely cries. Stella is very rarely sick. Stella eats apples and carrots and bananas and oatmeal, usually with her Daddy. Stella says Muh-muh-muh-muh and it makes me feel important. Stella is beautiful.
God gave me babies to love, a house to clean, full of clothes to wash and food to cook, a husband to argue with and a family to love me unconditionally. God gave us work to do. God gave me the desire to write and the will to do it, even if it's only a paragraph a week.
God is nearer. God is ready. God is doing something big. And small at the same time.
I have done about 100 house projects, Greg has done 100 more, and together we have 100 left. More or less. I have started to work from home more. I love making money :) I feel insecure about my house and my clothes sometimes, and confident most of the time. I am on a diet, but not too strict because I am still EBing Stella, with a little solid food for good measure. I am planning a birthday party for Henry, and sewing my kids Halloween costumes they will be embarrassed by later, and trying to find the time to have their pictures taken, and planning our trip away for Henry's real birthday, and making Christmas gifts, and planning our Thanksgiving road trip.
Greg is faithful, strong, honest, persevering, loving, gentle, kind, patient, and good. Greg is obsessed with his favorite board game and wants to play whenever I'm willing. Greg takes me shopping and entertains the kids while I walk around a store alone when I really need a break from life. Greg is the giver of baths, the reader of bed-time stories, and the sender of texts to our friends. Greg tries to believe the best of people. Greg eats peanut butter out of the jar.
Henry is sweet, and smart, and brave. Henry climbs over each pew at church, then runs to the front to start over again. Henry reads small words, but only when he wants to. Henry's response to the story of the Fall of Man was, "Ok! let's get some fruit snacks!" Henry talks to himself. Henry sits in the bath for an hour if you let him. Henry is always sweet to his sister. Henry is sick often. Henry eats peanut butter from the jar.
Stella is the light of my life. She makes me smile even as I'm being woken up in the dead of night. Stella very rarely cries. Stella is very rarely sick. Stella eats apples and carrots and bananas and oatmeal, usually with her Daddy. Stella says Muh-muh-muh-muh and it makes me feel important. Stella is beautiful.
God gave me babies to love, a house to clean, full of clothes to wash and food to cook, a husband to argue with and a family to love me unconditionally. God gave us work to do. God gave me the desire to write and the will to do it, even if it's only a paragraph a week.
God is nearer. God is ready. God is doing something big. And small at the same time.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
N0-Spend Month Update
Bottom line: We spent money. But not as much as we would have.
We didn't eat out except once when we were unexpectedly forced to be away from home, and we scrounged up some coupons and managed to stay under $10 that time.
I bought some stuff to make my niece's birthday invites, since I'd promised to do that before I thought of being cheap for a month.
I also bought the kids bathing suits for next year on super clearance because its impossible/expensive to get them at the beginning of summer, and kids' bathing suits rarely make it intact to goodwill.
Greg got a haircut, and I payed the library fines.
All in all, we averaged about $300 a week for the first two weeks for groceries, gas, and miscellaneous expenses. Not as good as I was hoping, but not bad either. We didn't use credit cards for anything, and paid all of our bills in plenty of time. Not bad 10 months into a new business!
We didn't eat out except once when we were unexpectedly forced to be away from home, and we scrounged up some coupons and managed to stay under $10 that time.
I bought some stuff to make my niece's birthday invites, since I'd promised to do that before I thought of being cheap for a month.
I also bought the kids bathing suits for next year on super clearance because its impossible/expensive to get them at the beginning of summer, and kids' bathing suits rarely make it intact to goodwill.
Greg got a haircut, and I payed the library fines.
All in all, we averaged about $300 a week for the first two weeks for groceries, gas, and miscellaneous expenses. Not as good as I was hoping, but not bad either. We didn't use credit cards for anything, and paid all of our bills in plenty of time. Not bad 10 months into a new business!
Friday, July 13, 2012
No-Spend Month
I've been looking at our finances again and trying to come up with new ways to shed debt and save for some important steps in our future. My original five year plan may need some extending, as my husband's business is still cyclical and gaining momentum. One month we are scraping by and the next he is being paid for months worth of work. It makes budgeting and planning difficult, and for right now, debt seems to be a part of our lives. In general, here are the steps I've been considering:
1. Lower Fixed Expenses. We've done this as much as humanly possible. We moved into a family owned house and pay no rent or utilities, even our internet is mooched and our cell phones are on the family plan. We sought out public health care options, and now use cheap doctors and clinics when necessary. We don't have cable or other monthly bills. We pay about $100 a month for car, renter's, and life insurance. We have Netflix which my whole family uses and costs about $9 a month. Other than insurance and Netflix, we spend money on gas and food, and have been eating out occasionally, going to the movies once in a while, bought some gifts, and took a couple of road trips this summer. I spend a small amount on the kids' toys and clothes, and of course there are occasional haircuts and pedicures :)
2. Face the Music. I added up everything. Every student loan, credit card, and other debt obligation. It was a lot. We have student loans from law school that are on a long-term repayment plan that is income-based and has a term limit of 25 years. Unless things change dramatically for the better (which would be great) we will probably end up paying only the principal on this loan, so it makes sense to avoid aggressively paying it off. Everything else added up to roughly 62K. This includes our car, my undergrad loans, loans we took out to cover bar expenses, and credit card debt we've acquired this year while Greg's practice was in the starting phase. (The credit card debt was all accumulated for emergency stuff like gas to get to court and health insurance premiums during the slow months.)
Once I had it all laid out in black and white with minimum payment info and interest rates, I made a plan for paying it off. Basically we'll pay 2K a month towards these obligations and have everything, including the car, paid off in less than 3 years. At that point we can ramp up our saving to invest in Greg's practice some more and eventually buy property.
3. Make More Money. Haha, easier said than done. But this has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I have a desire to contribute to our family financially, maybe just because it's been so long since I've had a paying job and I miss it. But the truth is that other than helping Greg out with some writing and editing work, I just don't have time for anything else worthwhile. Two babies are a ton of work and I'm not ready to delegate the childcare just yet.
Lately I've been trying to sneak in some writing time. I know I'm not spending enough time for this to bring in any money yet, but I feel like what I'm doing now will pay off eventually. I may be a one book every five years kind of writer, or maybe even a one book per lifetime writer, I'm not sure. In the past I've let my limited free time keep me from even trying. Lately I've been convicted to throw out my perfectionist tendencies and just do it, even if it's only 20 minutes here and there, even if it's ideas or words written on the backs of envelopes or receipts.
4. And finally, the point of this post... No Spend Month. You've probably heard of this. People take a break from consumerism for a short time and rely on what they have. You stop all discretionary spending for one month in order to reevaluate your spending habits and save a little. Some people just do this with groceries and "eat down" their pantries, using up all the food that would eventually go bad and be wasted. You still pay your bills but don't buy any more crap. I'm thinking this sounds awesome right about now. I'm psyched to try some crazy recipes with the random stuff in our kitchen, and to do projects around the house instead of shopping.
I haven't ok'd it with Greg yet but here are what I think the rules should be:
- set aside cash for next month's bills so we're not tempted to go out and blow a bunch of money as soon as the challenge is over
- have a limited amount of cash for things like gas, milk, and tp (although I do have some great pop fiction lying around, just sayin') this will probably be like $200 - $250
- try to use up stuff around the house and declutter (I'm already eyeing up the pantry and looking for stuff to give away/maybe sell?
- focus on things other than accumulation of stuff. This might mean I'll need a pinterest break, I'm not sure. I'm hoping the shopping break will allow us to do more fun cheap and free things together, and focus on improving ourselves instead of just adding clutter to the house.
- time frame. A month is what most people do, although I'd like start now and go until September 1st. if possible. I am planning on starting preschool with Henry in Sept, and might need some stuff for that, so maybe we'll try to stop the last week in Aug.
Wish me luck and I'll post updates with all of my free time!
1. Lower Fixed Expenses. We've done this as much as humanly possible. We moved into a family owned house and pay no rent or utilities, even our internet is mooched and our cell phones are on the family plan. We sought out public health care options, and now use cheap doctors and clinics when necessary. We don't have cable or other monthly bills. We pay about $100 a month for car, renter's, and life insurance. We have Netflix which my whole family uses and costs about $9 a month. Other than insurance and Netflix, we spend money on gas and food, and have been eating out occasionally, going to the movies once in a while, bought some gifts, and took a couple of road trips this summer. I spend a small amount on the kids' toys and clothes, and of course there are occasional haircuts and pedicures :)
2. Face the Music. I added up everything. Every student loan, credit card, and other debt obligation. It was a lot. We have student loans from law school that are on a long-term repayment plan that is income-based and has a term limit of 25 years. Unless things change dramatically for the better (which would be great) we will probably end up paying only the principal on this loan, so it makes sense to avoid aggressively paying it off. Everything else added up to roughly 62K. This includes our car, my undergrad loans, loans we took out to cover bar expenses, and credit card debt we've acquired this year while Greg's practice was in the starting phase. (The credit card debt was all accumulated for emergency stuff like gas to get to court and health insurance premiums during the slow months.)
Once I had it all laid out in black and white with minimum payment info and interest rates, I made a plan for paying it off. Basically we'll pay 2K a month towards these obligations and have everything, including the car, paid off in less than 3 years. At that point we can ramp up our saving to invest in Greg's practice some more and eventually buy property.
3. Make More Money. Haha, easier said than done. But this has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I have a desire to contribute to our family financially, maybe just because it's been so long since I've had a paying job and I miss it. But the truth is that other than helping Greg out with some writing and editing work, I just don't have time for anything else worthwhile. Two babies are a ton of work and I'm not ready to delegate the childcare just yet.
Lately I've been trying to sneak in some writing time. I know I'm not spending enough time for this to bring in any money yet, but I feel like what I'm doing now will pay off eventually. I may be a one book every five years kind of writer, or maybe even a one book per lifetime writer, I'm not sure. In the past I've let my limited free time keep me from even trying. Lately I've been convicted to throw out my perfectionist tendencies and just do it, even if it's only 20 minutes here and there, even if it's ideas or words written on the backs of envelopes or receipts.
4. And finally, the point of this post... No Spend Month. You've probably heard of this. People take a break from consumerism for a short time and rely on what they have. You stop all discretionary spending for one month in order to reevaluate your spending habits and save a little. Some people just do this with groceries and "eat down" their pantries, using up all the food that would eventually go bad and be wasted. You still pay your bills but don't buy any more crap. I'm thinking this sounds awesome right about now. I'm psyched to try some crazy recipes with the random stuff in our kitchen, and to do projects around the house instead of shopping.
I haven't ok'd it with Greg yet but here are what I think the rules should be:
- set aside cash for next month's bills so we're not tempted to go out and blow a bunch of money as soon as the challenge is over
- have a limited amount of cash for things like gas, milk, and tp (although I do have some great pop fiction lying around, just sayin') this will probably be like $200 - $250
- try to use up stuff around the house and declutter (I'm already eyeing up the pantry and looking for stuff to give away/maybe sell?
- focus on things other than accumulation of stuff. This might mean I'll need a pinterest break, I'm not sure. I'm hoping the shopping break will allow us to do more fun cheap and free things together, and focus on improving ourselves instead of just adding clutter to the house.
- time frame. A month is what most people do, although I'd like start now and go until September 1st. if possible. I am planning on starting preschool with Henry in Sept, and might need some stuff for that, so maybe we'll try to stop the last week in Aug.
Wish me luck and I'll post updates with all of my free time!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Some Words
Stella is 2 months old, and beautiful.
We're trying to potty-train Henry.
I'm going to miss Rachel when she leaves.
I love these kids, but sometimes feel sad about the things I've given up.
I'm an introvert and that's not a character flaw.
God has been quietly calling my name while I've been making lists and doing chores.
I typed this post with one hand.
We're trying to potty-train Henry.
I'm going to miss Rachel when she leaves.
I love these kids, but sometimes feel sad about the things I've given up.
I'm an introvert and that's not a character flaw.
God has been quietly calling my name while I've been making lists and doing chores.
I typed this post with one hand.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Some Thoughts Upon the Arrival of Our New Daughter
1. There's nothing quite like the feeling of lying on an operating table with doctors all around you and hearing a cry that sends shockwaves of relief through you, releasing all of the worries you were too afraid to articulate with anything other than silent, one-word prayers. Hearing "it's a girl" immediately after made up for all nine months of misery and all seven days of labor pains.
2. Being pregnant, having a C-section, and nursing an infant are completely different experiences when one is a law student than when one is a stay at home mom. I don't regret finishing school, but neither do I regret putting my career on hold to be home right now. Everything is easier and I feel about a hundred times more confident as a mom this time around.
3. Speaking of this time around, the second baby is so much easier. I'm not afraid she will break her neck, dehydrate because I'm not making enough milk, or spontaneously combust. They brought her to me in the recovery room so she could nurse. She latched on immediately and we've been inseparable since.
4. I thought Henry would freak out and be severely emotionally scarred by the birth of his sister. It turns out he ignores her 99% of the time and occasionally gives her a loving and gentle pat on the foot. "Baby Stella" gets talked about while he is playing with his toys, along with Henry, Mercy, and of course Lightning McQueen.
5. I'm still terrified about the prospect of raising a daughter, but I think with Greg's help we are up to the challenge.
7. I lost all of the pregnancy weight and maybe more. I'm glad that more weight gain is not a problem with this pregnancy, but I also know the journey I started before I got pregnant is not nearly over. Also the extremely quick weight loss the last couple of days was a little freaky and I'll be glad when I know what's going on with my body again.
6. Greg is sleeping. A lot. I think the last few weeks were difficult for him, maybe even more so than me. Waiting and waiting and worrying about your wife and baby for days and days on end can take a toll. I am not nearly as tired as I was when 9 months pregnant. Greg is perpetually exhausted.
7. I feel the urge to write now more than ever. Part of me wishes I could have finished a draft before Stella was born, just to be super productive. Looking at my two kids and thinking about paying the bills just makes the urge more urgent. :)
8. The baby. Is quieter than Henry was. When we brought him home we ended up putting him in his crib to sleep right away because he was just such a noisy sleeper. Stella sleeps with us all night, just moving around a little when she wants to eat. Right now she eats three or four times at night but I can usually sleep while she's eating and only really wake up to put her on and off or if she needs to be changed. Sometimes I wake Greg up to help me but I don't always need to.
She squeaks when she cries or when she has the hiccups, and we call her Squeaker or Pipsqueak.
She eats a lot. Like constantly. She is not on any sort of schedule yet, but she eats much longer than the 45 minutes that everyone says, then sleeps for 3 or 4 hours at a time during the day and night. She is starting to open her eyes more and look around, mostly at lights. I was holding her today and talking to her and I swear she looked at me and broke out into a huge smile. I thought I was going crazy because it's way to early for her to smile, but then my mom came down and was holding her and she did it again! She has a beautiful smile, even if it's really just gas :)
If I hold her upright on my shoulder she lifts and turns her head.
We go to her doctor tomorrow to see how much weight she's regained. We are also going to my doctor to get my staples removed. Even if everything feels the same, not having Frankenstein-esqe metal staples across my stomach will be nice.
9. I don't have some incredible surge of emotion or crazy "bond" like moms talk about having with their newborns. I didn't have it with Henry either. I'm just really really happy that we are safe and healthy and I'm trying to enjoy each day for what it is. It would be easy to wish away this time recovering from surgery, but I'm trying to remember that Stella will only be this tiny for a very short time. I can't believe she'll be a week old tomorrow!
2. Being pregnant, having a C-section, and nursing an infant are completely different experiences when one is a law student than when one is a stay at home mom. I don't regret finishing school, but neither do I regret putting my career on hold to be home right now. Everything is easier and I feel about a hundred times more confident as a mom this time around.
3. Speaking of this time around, the second baby is so much easier. I'm not afraid she will break her neck, dehydrate because I'm not making enough milk, or spontaneously combust. They brought her to me in the recovery room so she could nurse. She latched on immediately and we've been inseparable since.
4. I thought Henry would freak out and be severely emotionally scarred by the birth of his sister. It turns out he ignores her 99% of the time and occasionally gives her a loving and gentle pat on the foot. "Baby Stella" gets talked about while he is playing with his toys, along with Henry, Mercy, and of course Lightning McQueen.
5. I'm still terrified about the prospect of raising a daughter, but I think with Greg's help we are up to the challenge.
7. I lost all of the pregnancy weight and maybe more. I'm glad that more weight gain is not a problem with this pregnancy, but I also know the journey I started before I got pregnant is not nearly over. Also the extremely quick weight loss the last couple of days was a little freaky and I'll be glad when I know what's going on with my body again.
6. Greg is sleeping. A lot. I think the last few weeks were difficult for him, maybe even more so than me. Waiting and waiting and worrying about your wife and baby for days and days on end can take a toll. I am not nearly as tired as I was when 9 months pregnant. Greg is perpetually exhausted.
7. I feel the urge to write now more than ever. Part of me wishes I could have finished a draft before Stella was born, just to be super productive. Looking at my two kids and thinking about paying the bills just makes the urge more urgent. :)
8. The baby. Is quieter than Henry was. When we brought him home we ended up putting him in his crib to sleep right away because he was just such a noisy sleeper. Stella sleeps with us all night, just moving around a little when she wants to eat. Right now she eats three or four times at night but I can usually sleep while she's eating and only really wake up to put her on and off or if she needs to be changed. Sometimes I wake Greg up to help me but I don't always need to.
She squeaks when she cries or when she has the hiccups, and we call her Squeaker or Pipsqueak.
She eats a lot. Like constantly. She is not on any sort of schedule yet, but she eats much longer than the 45 minutes that everyone says, then sleeps for 3 or 4 hours at a time during the day and night. She is starting to open her eyes more and look around, mostly at lights. I was holding her today and talking to her and I swear she looked at me and broke out into a huge smile. I thought I was going crazy because it's way to early for her to smile, but then my mom came down and was holding her and she did it again! She has a beautiful smile, even if it's really just gas :)
If I hold her upright on my shoulder she lifts and turns her head.
We go to her doctor tomorrow to see how much weight she's regained. We are also going to my doctor to get my staples removed. Even if everything feels the same, not having Frankenstein-esqe metal staples across my stomach will be nice.
9. I don't have some incredible surge of emotion or crazy "bond" like moms talk about having with their newborns. I didn't have it with Henry either. I'm just really really happy that we are safe and healthy and I'm trying to enjoy each day for what it is. It would be easy to wish away this time recovering from surgery, but I'm trying to remember that Stella will only be this tiny for a very short time. I can't believe she'll be a week old tomorrow!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
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