Shabby Chic Bunny Baby Shower

I meant to blog about my sister's baby shower last week after it happened, but she ended up getting induced that Monday (3 weeks early), and since she was right in the middle of moving, as you might imagine I haven't stopped had time to look at the computer!
My sister picked out this adorable shabby chic crib set with a mobile that had little white bunnies in dresses. Inspired by the cute nursery, I decided to try to do a shabby chic, bunny baby shower.
Here's a picture of the room before many people arrived. This actually Sarah's church's community room. The guys emptied out all of the extra stuff so that it would look really nice for the shower. Some of the guests who go to the church couldn't believe it was the same room.


The banner was simple to make, I just took some leftover scrapbook paper I had and cut out triangles and letters, then white circles to set off the letters. Then I just threaded some ribbon through holes I made with the hole-puncher, and put a little tape on the back to keep the ribbon spaced out when it was hung up.


You can't really see the centerpiece in this picture, but I got a case of 1 quart mason jars and painted some off-white, some sage green, and some aqua blue. Then I took a tooth brush and splattered a contrasting color on the jars. Finally I decoupaged on an image of a rose that I found online (very shabby chic), and finished it off with some dark brown ribbon. For the flowers I just went to Shop Rite and got some pink roses, white spider mums (they had to give me some other large flowers because all of the spider mums I'd ordered didn't come in), ferny greens and baby's breath. Then Trouwbottom came the night before to arrange them. (Did you know Trouwbottom was raised in a flower shop? True story.


For the food we decided to go with brunch to keep it simple. My brother-in-law's mom did the fruit. I cut up cheese and got muffins and danishes from Costco. I ordered shrimp and sandwiches, my mom and Sarah made some egg/cheese/sausage casseroles from a Paula Dean cookbook (yum!), and my mom cooked up some frozen tater tots.


I found a good video tutorial on how to fold these bunny napkins online. I made the napkin rings out of some ribbon and little puff balls from Michaels.


I ordered the chair covers from tableclothfactory online as well as the tablecloths and napkins. For the sashes, we used some rolls of that tulle you get at the party store and just added a small tissue paper flower. This picture is of probably the last chair I did, because the flower is smooshed and I was running out of tulle, the rest had a big loose bow of tulle. To make this size flower, I cut the tissue paper sheets in half, then the halves in thirds to make 6 small sheets from every 1 big sheet. Each flower is 5 sheets thick.


For the tissue puffs that we hung from the ceiling, I used whole and half sheets, and pink, brown, white, aqua blue, yellow, and polka dot tissue paper. We hung 3 over each table. To tie the flowers I used wire, and then added the ribbon to hang them before we fluffed them up. It really helped that we waited to fluff them until the day before.


Trouwbottom's whole family came to help out!


Here's the room with everyone starting to fill it up. I'm not sure how many people showed up, but 77 RSVP'd!
My mom made the chocolate bunny pops from some Easter molds I found online. The pencils were from Oriental Trading Co. and were for the games, although because there were so many people we ended up playing the timer game (set a timer and when it goes off whoever's gift the mom is opening gets a prize), to make it simpler. So the pencils were just an extra favor.


A bad picture of the cake, which was actually really nice and tasted sooo good. Chocolate raspberry, from Wegmans. I also ordered Italian pasteries, which were a big hit.


My sister's high school English teacher and good friend gave a great talk about using your words to uplift and encourage instead of tearing people down. Great advice for busy moms!


Henry was very tired but managed to stay awake and in a good mood for almost the whole shower.

Not Surprised.

My sister went to the doctor yesterday to confirm her blighted ovum and discuss her options. The doctor started out by looking at the results of her blood test, which were not promising. Then he did another ultrasound. A heartbeat, a little bean inside the circle, and then she knew. The baby was there all along, just younger than anyone thought!

I couldn't say that I was very surprised, just glad. About two days ago I sort of got a feeling like everything would work out, that God was in control and that all the disappointment, confusion, frustration, etc was a waste of time. I stopped crying, started flipping through the baby name books again, and bought a cute little girl's outfit that was on sale, just in case. Lo and behold! Everything is ok. And we are blessed again. I'm trying to think of something special for my sister though. I thought maybe an ice cream cake welcoming her little bean? Or maybe a little onesie?

Life is...

I trust God, I do. He has been with me through thick and thin, in tough times and in joyful times. Ultimately, deep down, I know that He knows what He's doing and that His plans are to help us and not to hurt us. But sometimes it's hard to see the pattern in the seemingly random hurts of our lives.

My sister called me yesterday. She had just gotten back from the doctor's office. The baby she had tried for for over a year, the baby she had religiously taken pre-natal vitamins for, the baby that she tracked her ovulation for for months and months for, the baby that she had endured the side-effects of Clomid for, the baby that she canceled her vacation to the Dominican Republic for, the baby that she rejoiced over discovering just weeks ago.... wasn't there.

Just an empty sack she said. A blighted ovum. The ultrasound showed a placenta but no baby. I know things could be worse. I know this isn't quite as bad as a real miscarriage, I realize that she is fortunate to know that she can get pregnant, when so many women can't.

But I can't help but thinking that it just isn't fair. If you know my sister, you know how strong she is, how hard-working, how she always chooses to do the right thing, even when it's hard, even when she's tired. If you know her you've probably seen her compassion for others, not just in the things she does, but in her attitude, how she accepts and forgives. You would know about her loyalty, and how she is so passionate about what she believes. She is not jealous when someone has what she doesn't. Not even what they have what she wants the most. When I look at my sister, I don't feel competitive, I feel relieved. Relieved because I know there is no way I could compete.

I didn't feel like I had to prove anything growing up, because Sarah proved it all. I didn't go to medical school, because there was no way I would graduate in the top five of my class, and if she'd already done it, why should I bother? She's worked hard at her job for almost a decade, paying bills for the family, taking care of the family house, helping me when she could, giving her time and money to her church and to those in need. I on the other hand have been a student for years, slacking off, missing class, working at my little part-time jobs and complaining the whole time.

When it was time for her to settle down, she went on a first date with every eligible Christian guy in the United States. But there was never a fit. It wasn't until after years of heartbreak and wasting her time with these losers that she finally met her wonderful husband. The story is almost the opposite of my carefree college love story. I always say that my meeting Greg was like walking into a casino and putting a quarter into a slot machine, and winning the jackpot. There was no work, there was no long-term heartbreak. Just a short break-up for 6 months that ultimately helped us decide to get married.

And now... her struggle to get pregnant does not surprise me. In some ways she seems designed to struggle. She is so determined to achieve, to overcome. Every negative pregnancy test is a failure to her. And this obstacle is different. It's not a grade to earn or a position to achieve. We have no control over who lives, what life is started. Of all the things in the world, it's the most random, the most unpredictable. Think of all those women going to clinics, paying for birth control, all the crack-addicted prostitutes, all the little teenagers, all the third-world women who can't afford birth control. And babies, babies, unwanted babies. But no baby for Sarah.

As I change Henry today, as I feed him and as I watch him do new things, I will be grateful. I will thank God for blessing me with him. I will thank Him for how easy it's been, how easy it's all been. But I will also question Him. I will look inside and ask for more faith. Because sometimes it feels like life is just not fair.

Note: If you are somehow reading this blog and know me, and you didn't know that my sister was even pregnant, please don't go consoling her and making her think that the whole world knows about it. She told very few people and wouldn't want anyone else to know. In other worlds I would be in trouble for posting this, but I'm doing so because the only people who read my blog already know about it (so I hope).

Not so bad...

So my sister has pretty much decided not to fight her landlord on the security deposit issue. Even though I know we would win in small claims court, I guess she is just too stressed about the idea of taking a neighbor to court. Frankly I admire her classy approach, although if I were in her shoes I would definitely fight this out. It kind of makes me angry though, that people will take advantage of others that way, betting on the assumption that nice people won't go to court.

I guess if my family is happier losing the money and not having to deal with these trashy people any longer, it's their call. I think I have to stop worrying about these kinds of problems that are outside of my control. Last night I was so angry about this, until I realized that me fuming all night would do absolutely nothing. All it got me was a lousy evening not enjoying being home with my husband. At that point, I really wanted to let it go.

Here is an interesting story from a Christian doctor I know, he is advising someone who lent a relative some money and the relative wouldn't pay it back:

Here are some of my thoughts on the $15K matter:

Although this is water under the bridge, refuse to lend to family and friends because a loan can easily end a friendship, because the moment you accept a loan from me you become, in a sense, my servant. Proverbs 22:7 : "The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender." This can quickly become an uncomfortable situation for both parties as you're experiencing. If we do feel led to financially help someone, it's best to give loans expecting nothing in return. Luke 6:30 : Give [not loan] to everyone that asks of you and if anyone does take what belongs to you, do not demand it back.

Perhaps you should acknowledge to this relative that you may have been in error in allowing him to become indebted to you. I think God's ideal is to keep out of debt altogether. Romans 13:8 : "Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loves another has fulfilled the law." Maybe even ask him to forgive you for compromising God's ideal and explain you want to be a true brother/brother-in-law/cousin/uncle/friend, etc. by helping him to be financially free. As you know, often debt is simply the tip of the iceberg and is a result of various hidden motives to borrow money. Maybe you know your relative's situation well enough or could gather facts from him to determine what his real financial needs are and what spiritual problem(s) may have caused them (ie, greed, slothfulness, impatience, pride, presumption, unbelief.)

If you are still maintaining a good relationship with your relative, and he genuinely is serious about repaying you but simply cannot afford to do so now, perhaps you could sit down with him, assist and patiently help him work out a plan to gradually reimburse you (maybe only in part) as he is able, (Luke 16:1-12) expecting that the financial bondage that your relative is in may take a long time to remove and that you will have to share the burden with him until he is financially stable.

If it's a matter that your relative has chosen to refuse to pay you and relationships have become strained or unpleasant, there are a number of verses which relate to the matter (and which, I grant, are easier for me to quote since it's not my $15,000.) It's likely that your relative will not initiate reconciliation with you (people in this situation are often prisoners of guilt, self-justification, denial, insensitivity or bitterness). God teaches that the offended one must initiate reconciliation. We are to have a forgiving spirit whether or not our offender asks forgiveness. We're to pray for those who offend us (and I don't think it means pray for condemnation on them.) By refusing to forgive an offender, the offended one is in bondage to his own resentment. Forgiveness, complete unconditional forgiveness, is clearing the record with those who have wronged me and then allowing God to love them through me. God was offended by us but he initiated forgiveness and reconciliation. I realize to forgive an offender in this case, is to accept the reality of personal loss, but God always writes the last chapter and His blessing is our greatest asset. When we release a debtor God releases unexpected blessing in our lives. I Peter 3:9: "Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise, blessing; knowing that you are thereunto called that you should inherit a blessing." I think Matthew 18:21-35 stresses the importance of forgiving your brother's sin against you and seems to make it clear that we should forgive financial debts that people refuse to pay us. A person who has a forgiving spirit is conscious of the great debt he owes to God and is willing to release others from the debt which they owe him. Another verse which came to mind relating to debt was Matthew 6:12 : "...forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Furthermore, if you relative is a Christian, I Corinthians 6:1-10 advises that the Christian should not go to law with a brother in civil courts -- that it's better to suffer being taken advantage of. People who do not initiate forgiveness toward an offender, miss out on the benefits which could come from reconciliation including elimination of bitterness and an unforgiving spirit, the consequence of which could be a breaking of fellowship with God. The temporal debts others may owe us are infinitesimal in comparison with the eternal debts we owe to God. Thus, to forgive our debtor is the bargain of a lifetime.

Over the years, I have had many dental debtors which I have dealt with in a wide variety of ways depending on a number of factors. I can say that I have never regretted forgiving them when I have felt led or convicted to do so. Here's an example. Back in March, 2006 a couple from St. Paul 's amassed a significant dental bill, and then moved out of town, even out of state, without paying. After some repeated months of billing them and hearing nothing, I sent the following letter:

"It seems apparent to me that this debt is causing you hardship and that your needs at this time are greater than mine. Further, the best I can understand the teachings of Jesus Christ, we are to "share one another's burdens," and should forgive others to the extent that He has forgiven us.

I am therefore forgiving you this debt, and canceling your account balance with this office in the amount of $____. I am prayerful that this is done to the glory of God and the furtherance of His Kingdom. Hope you folks are doing well in_____."

I heard nothing. Then in December of that year, I received the following letter:

"Dear Doc,

Greetings in our Lord Jesus Christ. Your letter to us a few months ago took both of us aback. Your faith and your forgiveness of our debt was a real blessing to us. Please bear with me for a moment while I tell you something. Back in 2002, right before we moved there to Ocean Grove, on one of our many visits there, we attended one of the services at St. Paul 's church. I believe it was one of the first in the church. Before that we attended many on the beach pavilion. Anyway, for some reason, I never liked it much when missionaries spoke at churches in the past. ??? I don't know why. But on this particular day you were there speaking about your missionary journeys. Dale you are one of the few missionaries who touched and blessed my heart. I know it wasn't you talking about pulling teeth and such, but your faith and the Spirit speaking through you. You really blessed me then and in the future when we moved there. That has stuck with me now and you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Anyway, when we got your letter we decided that one day we would like to be a blessing to you and your mission. As God has blessed us, please use this for your missionary work, or any way God moves you to use it. Thank you again for the many ways that you have been a blessing to us and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers."

Enclosed was a check for an amount about 30% greater than what I had originally forgiven. This is just one of a number of examples of these situations that I could relate to you.

Seems to me in a situation like this, some questions you need to ask yourself are:

Who does my money really belong to?

Am I willing to compromise convictions or relationships for money?

...and then determine what amount God would have you give to your relative as well as what other counsel and direction you can give to him.

There's my input for what it's worth. I'm not going to ask you anything about what you decide to do and will continue to pray for you to have wisdom in dealing with this matter.

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Move...

On the Brighter Side - Adoption

Despite all of the drama going on with my family's rental house, there is one cool thing to be excited about: My sister and her husband have decided that they want to adopt a baby boy from Ethiopia. They are not sure how the time frame will work out, especially if my sister also gets pregnant, but they both feel like they know what country to look at. Since adoptions take so long and cost so much, they want to get the ball rolling right away. I'm trying to think of some ideas for how to help them raise the cash to fund all of the travel and fees. One idea I had was to sell some of my homemade baby gifts, either on etsy.com or ebay, but to advertise the purpose of the sale. I make baby quilts, garments and toys as gifts for fun, so I already kind of have a stash of stuff and supplies. Does anyone know of more good ways to raise funds for an adoption?