Time is a funny thing. Right now every day seems to drag on, but the weeks and months are flying by. Maybe because it's my favorite season I notice how quickly everything is moving. I can't help but feel nervous that I'm missing something, that I'm forgetting some crucial aspect of living, and that I'll wake up one day and realize how long it's been.
Life is a funny thing. It's so full and so scattered. I seem to be doing so many little jobs, taking care of so many little details. Sometimes I feel like I've just run into a little house, run right into some little wooden house in the middle of an incredible storm. I'm standing there, my clothes dripping wet, trying to figure out where I was going before the rain started.
Freedom is funny too. You want it so badly, that you'd do anything to get it, even enslave yourself to obtain the ideal. I think it is possible that we are slaves by nature, and the only choice is choosing between masters. I hope I've chosen well.
Love is ridiculous. How can being less be so much more?
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This was supposed to be a straightforward update, and I've blown it. I will try to redeem myself.
Henry and I are working through some first/second grade type work, and he starts learning music next week at his little co-op. Some of older kids at church have been sort of bullying him, but it's hard to say if he's really hurt by it. When I think about it, I really just feel proud of him. Whatever his faults, he would never try to purposely hurt someone. He has a sort of guilelessness that I admire, and a very strong sense of justice. He pretends to be a superhero when he plays.
Stella is very sassy. I don't want her to get any bigger, because soon she won't want to lie next to me as she falls asleep, her hand rubbing my bare arm.
Greg and I started a new book in our marriage small group, and had one of the most honest conversations of our entire marriage this week. We weren't having problems before, but the book really did help us reach a new level of openness with each other. We talked about our ideals, and what we want our lives and marriage to be like. I think this could easily end up in feelings of criticism or guilt, but we stayed focused on the positives and it was nice to see each other in the light of our best intentions.
I'm sewing dresses for little girls, planning two trips, and a very easy
birthday party for Henry. I'm doing the best I can to balance.
