Weight Loss Plan

I've never been skinny, except maybe for about five minutes in kindergarten or something. And I've pretty much always felt overweight, even when I was around the normal weight range for my height. I've done weight watchers in the past, the first time I was probably like 16. I've been thinner and heavier in cycles depending on the outside circumstances. It's just been something that I feel like I either have no control over or I just don't care enough about to change. The funny thing is, when I was pregnant I had no problem whatsoever eating healthy food, giving up the junk that I normally feel I can't live without. I could do it when there was a purpose, when it wasn't just about looking a certain way. I actually lost weight when I was pregnant.

Law school, not so much. Hours of studying on the couch and subsisting on take-out led to massive weight gain. A couple of weeks ago I found a picture of myself in Bolivia, it was from four years ago, just a month or two before Greg and I got engaged. I weighed about 60 lbs less than I do today. At the time I felt so fat. But now looking back I wish I could just be that weight again.

After I took the bar last summer, weight started to fly off. I guess just not being stressed helped me shed pounds without really trying. This spring I hit a plateau. I kept thinking the law school weight would just keep coming off since I wasn't there anymore, but the number on the scale was not going down anymore. I hemmed and hawed. I didn't want to spend money that I don't have on weight watchers or a gym membership. I don't want to go on a diet for a while just to gain all the weight back when I stop.

So I started researching to find a diet/nutrition plan that I could do for the rest of my life. I found this little 8 week diet plan on a website that sells workout dvds. The high protein, fewer carbs thing hadn't worked for me when I tried to crash diet before my wedding, but I decided to give it a try now that my life is not as stressful. I found that the diet really "worked". That is, I'm not hungry, I don't feel resentful and deprived, I'm getting good nutrition, and I lost 4 pounds in the first two weeks without even doing the workouts.

My initial plan was to do the workouts too, but with some of the health issues I've been having lately I'm not supposed to raise my blood pressure. I also didn't always eat as many veggies as you are supposed to and generally cheat on the weekend. Even when I cheat and have dessert though, I keep track of all the calories on fitday. The reason I'm trying to stay flexible with it is because I don't want to keep the diet perfectly for a while and then decide it's too hard. I want to genuinely change the way I'm eating so I can maintain a healthy weight forever.

So what do you think? Anyone want to join me?

No News Is...

So I did have the procedure done on Friday. I was totally fine when the pregnancy test was negative, it was what I was expecting. I did almost pass out when they were putting in the IV. I'm usually fine with anything medical, but the nurse was talking about my veins and blood. A lot. As she was poking around inside my wrist. I don't get upset when something hurts, but sometimes thinking about it too much makes me a little queasy. The first IV didn't work and the nurse must have seen my face because she got someone else to do the second one.

I went in to the surgery room, blind because I had to take my contacts out, laid down, and the next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery. There was a young girl in the little curtained cubicle next to me, and she was crying. I don't know why she was there but I heard the nurses say her name. I told her it would be ok, that they would bring her mom back soon, and prayed for her. Lying there praying I wondered if this whole mess wasn't just an incredibly complicated way to get me next to her.

Eventually they let Greg in and he told me that they had found nothing.

No polyps, no fibroids, nothing strange at all.

They took a tissue sample to test and that was that. The doctor was already gone so I didn't get a chance to ask what the next step will be. I'm not even sure what they are testing for with the tissue sample. Hopefully I'll get some more answers when I talk to the Dr. on Thursday.

I'm nervous because I'm not sure how good my insurance will be come September, so I want to try and get everything figured out before then. On one hand, it's great that they didn't find anything that could mean life-long issues for me. On the other hand, now we have no idea what is causing these problems.