This year I had hoped to make some gifts at home in order to save money and expend a little creative energy. The point was not to go out and buy a ton of supplies, but rather to use up things I already have. My goal was to create gifts without buying lots of extra stuff. If I can get my act together these are the projects I would like to complete:
1) Doll T-shirt kit. I already bought fabric paint and some embellishments at Michaels on black friday, and am working on making little American girl sized T-shirts for Trouwbottom's daughter to decorate. All you need for the T-shirts is one or two old T-shirts and some velcro. We'll see how it turns out!
2) Husband quilt. This idea was born out of a bag of my husband's old clothes that I couldn't put in the clothes closet (what our church calls the room full of free clothes) because of small rips, stains, etc. Some of the clothes I had really liked and I hated to trash them, but I also knew that keeping them around indefinitely was totally crazy. And so the Husband Quilt was born! I bought an inexpensive twin sheet at Walmart for the backing, picked up some crib-sized batting at Michaels on black friday, and whipped up a lap quilt top out of 5 old shirts. Now all I have left to do is quilt it, and sew up the binding.
3) In the same vein, I would love to sew up some little stuffed animals out of the fabric I have lying around for my cousin's kids. I already have the stuffing, and plenty of embroidery floss and buttons for faces, and a ton of fabric scraps that would be perfect.
4) I also want to finish a pair of these little cross-stitch ornaments I've been working on FOREVER. They aren't really that creative (cross-stitch never is), but I would be making them out of supplies I already have, so I guess they count too. I'm hoping to get them finished before the 26th, so I can give them to my aunt and uncle who I'm visiting that day.
Hopefully I'll be posting pics of these completed projects soon! (fingers crossed)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Life Exploding
So much has been happening in the past couple of weeks, it's becoming hard to process.
The biggest change has been that my husband and I have decided to seriously consider opening up our own law partnership next year. Greg has always wanted to go into solo practice eventually, and I guess it's always been a back burner dream of mine as well, although until now I always felt that it was too risky of an idea.
Greg has been applying for jobs, but almost everything is very narrowly focused, meaning he would likely only get experience in one specific area of law, and not necessarily an area that he wants to practice in down the line.
The possibility has rocked my world. The plan before this was for Greg to work at a firm where he would probably never see the light of day, let alone Henry and me. A job this intense (probably one with a significant commute) would mean that I would be relegated to the house for another year, because sans full-time nanny, there would be no support for me to go back to work.
We've been running the numbers, and it seems like if we can keep the overhead down, he could definitely make as much as he is making now (which isn't much, but enough to survive). Not to mention I would probably be able to glean work from the practice if we were actively seeking clients. Even if I worked a couple of days a week and during nap time, it would make a big difference to us financially.
My level of excitement over the possibility of hanging our shingle is rising every day as I research how to make it happen. Of course, it's risky. In fact, there's a pretty good chance that we will fail. But I keep coming back to the fact that we have so little to lose at this point. We don't own a home, we don't have huge savings accounts or trust funds. And if we keep the investment low, (working from home, going paperless, utilizing the public law library), I'm confident that we'll be turning a profit in a matter of months.
Tonight we're going to a CLE class, and as I pull out my old suit and rummage through my bathroom for some lipstick, I can't help but get a thrill out of the rediscovery of the person I was before morning sickness and stretch marks. I know Henry is over a year old, and I've been clinging to those sweatpants and ponytails for far too long. It's time to get back out there and release the smart, business-savvy mama who's been hiding under piles of laundry and bangs that are down to my collarbone. Here we go!
The biggest change has been that my husband and I have decided to seriously consider opening up our own law partnership next year. Greg has always wanted to go into solo practice eventually, and I guess it's always been a back burner dream of mine as well, although until now I always felt that it was too risky of an idea.
Greg has been applying for jobs, but almost everything is very narrowly focused, meaning he would likely only get experience in one specific area of law, and not necessarily an area that he wants to practice in down the line.
The possibility has rocked my world. The plan before this was for Greg to work at a firm where he would probably never see the light of day, let alone Henry and me. A job this intense (probably one with a significant commute) would mean that I would be relegated to the house for another year, because sans full-time nanny, there would be no support for me to go back to work.
We've been running the numbers, and it seems like if we can keep the overhead down, he could definitely make as much as he is making now (which isn't much, but enough to survive). Not to mention I would probably be able to glean work from the practice if we were actively seeking clients. Even if I worked a couple of days a week and during nap time, it would make a big difference to us financially.
My level of excitement over the possibility of hanging our shingle is rising every day as I research how to make it happen. Of course, it's risky. In fact, there's a pretty good chance that we will fail. But I keep coming back to the fact that we have so little to lose at this point. We don't own a home, we don't have huge savings accounts or trust funds. And if we keep the investment low, (working from home, going paperless, utilizing the public law library), I'm confident that we'll be turning a profit in a matter of months.
Tonight we're going to a CLE class, and as I pull out my old suit and rummage through my bathroom for some lipstick, I can't help but get a thrill out of the rediscovery of the person I was before morning sickness and stretch marks. I know Henry is over a year old, and I've been clinging to those sweatpants and ponytails for far too long. It's time to get back out there and release the smart, business-savvy mama who's been hiding under piles of laundry and bangs that are down to my collarbone. Here we go!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Mom's Favorite Things
So I'm not sure if Oprah does this anymore, but I know she used to have a show right around Christmas time where she would give everyone in her audience for that day her favorite things. Sometimes it was a pair of pajamas, a desert, and once she gave everyone in the audience a new car.
I got to thinking, if I had to pick my favorite things for that show, what would I pick? Honestly I don't know. I've been on a minimalist kick lately, and so I've been mainly preoccupied with getting rid of things. So then I thought, what are the things that I am always using? Like, what are the things that if someone were to give me as a Christmas present I would be so grateful because they are things that I would be buying anyway? What are the things that I'm absolutely sick of shopping for? And what are the things I would give away to moms like me if I had a show? Basically, what are my "favorite things" at this point in my life?
Here is the list that I came up with, some are things I actually buy, and some are things I don't buy but wish that I had:
1) Whole milk - Henry drinks like 2 gallons a week, I swear.
2) Yobaby yogurt - same thing, plus this stuff is always sold out.
3) Target gift cards - because I can always drop money at Target.
4) Prepared food - ok, I don't actually buy this, but how awesome would it be to get meat that you don't have to bread, pasta that you don't have to boil, and nice fresh sandwiches that you don't have to make? I don't know a mom on this planet who wouldn't love that. And sometimes I just stare at our pantry, and I know that a dinner can be made out of the stuff in there, but the process can be so tedious.
5) Shoprite gift cards - nuff said.
6) Costco membership - because mine is about to run out and I just like going there, but can't really justify it.
7) Henry's pajamas - because he outgrows them and destroys them constantly and they are so overpriced. $20 for feety pajamas? Please.
8) Giftcard to get a haircut - because what used to be my hip side-bangs are now down to my collarbone.
9) Giftcard to get nails done - because my purple glitter nail polish home pedicure didn't go quite as I planned.
10) gas.
11) diet coke.
12) Netflix.
13) Giftcards to eat out at places that don't mind if your baby throws everything on the floor. Well, at least they don't say anything even if they do mind.
I got to thinking, if I had to pick my favorite things for that show, what would I pick? Honestly I don't know. I've been on a minimalist kick lately, and so I've been mainly preoccupied with getting rid of things. So then I thought, what are the things that I am always using? Like, what are the things that if someone were to give me as a Christmas present I would be so grateful because they are things that I would be buying anyway? What are the things that I'm absolutely sick of shopping for? And what are the things I would give away to moms like me if I had a show? Basically, what are my "favorite things" at this point in my life?
Here is the list that I came up with, some are things I actually buy, and some are things I don't buy but wish that I had:
1) Whole milk - Henry drinks like 2 gallons a week, I swear.
2) Yobaby yogurt - same thing, plus this stuff is always sold out.
3) Target gift cards - because I can always drop money at Target.
4) Prepared food - ok, I don't actually buy this, but how awesome would it be to get meat that you don't have to bread, pasta that you don't have to boil, and nice fresh sandwiches that you don't have to make? I don't know a mom on this planet who wouldn't love that. And sometimes I just stare at our pantry, and I know that a dinner can be made out of the stuff in there, but the process can be so tedious.
5) Shoprite gift cards - nuff said.
6) Costco membership - because mine is about to run out and I just like going there, but can't really justify it.
7) Henry's pajamas - because he outgrows them and destroys them constantly and they are so overpriced. $20 for feety pajamas? Please.
8) Giftcard to get a haircut - because what used to be my hip side-bangs are now down to my collarbone.
9) Giftcard to get nails done - because my purple glitter nail polish home pedicure didn't go quite as I planned.
10) gas.
11) diet coke.
12) Netflix.
13) Giftcards to eat out at places that don't mind if your baby throws everything on the floor. Well, at least they don't say anything even if they do mind.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Collapsing into bed
What a weekend!
Recap:
Thursday
Get G-Ma from the train, frantically clean house.
Friday
Rush Henry to Dr. after major blowout diaper that was, oddly enough, white. Henry seems better but we're watching him.
Run around trying to find hilarious lingerie for bridal shower and supplies for wishing well.
Almost go to a location 3 hours from shower because thought someone said Salem, PA and not Bensalem, PA.
Finally get to locale and frantically decorate for bridal shower using paperclips, rubber bands, and stuff I find in my car.
Bridal Shower Success!
Stay out way too late and drive home at 1 am.
Saturday
Debate whether or not Henry is too sick to have the birthday party.
Eventually decide I have to get it over with.
Worry about no one showing up ala Halloween.
Worry too many kids will show up and I'll run out of goody bags and make a 5 year old cry.
Stash nonconforming items in bedroom.
Birthday Party Success! Just enough people showed and the timing was perfect. As one group would leave another would show up.
Migraine headache, one of only two I've had in my life. I hide in bed with a pillow over my face.
Sunday
Wake up feeling much better.
Go to church and see some good friends.
See G-Ma and her boyfriend off.
Construct dinner for a couple that just had a new baby out of paperclips, rubber bands, and stuff I find in my car.
Target!
Recap:
Thursday
Get G-Ma from the train, frantically clean house.
Friday
Rush Henry to Dr. after major blowout diaper that was, oddly enough, white. Henry seems better but we're watching him.
Run around trying to find hilarious lingerie for bridal shower and supplies for wishing well.
Almost go to a location 3 hours from shower because thought someone said Salem, PA and not Bensalem, PA.
Finally get to locale and frantically decorate for bridal shower using paperclips, rubber bands, and stuff I find in my car.
Bridal Shower Success!
Stay out way too late and drive home at 1 am.
Saturday
Debate whether or not Henry is too sick to have the birthday party.
Eventually decide I have to get it over with.
Worry about no one showing up ala Halloween.
Worry too many kids will show up and I'll run out of goody bags and make a 5 year old cry.
Stash nonconforming items in bedroom.
Birthday Party Success! Just enough people showed and the timing was perfect. As one group would leave another would show up.
Migraine headache, one of only two I've had in my life. I hide in bed with a pillow over my face.
Sunday
Wake up feeling much better.
Go to church and see some good friends.
See G-Ma and her boyfriend off.
Construct dinner for a couple that just had a new baby out of paperclips, rubber bands, and stuff I find in my car.
Target!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Healing
Something crazy happened at church yesterday. I was sitting in the service next to my husband. (Henry is sick and had stayed home with my mom.) We had just sat down after the first round of singing when I spotted him. My heart dropped to my knees when I recognized his face.
It was my old high school crush from my private Christian school. I had pined over this boy since the first day of high school. In the tiny fish bowl of my little private school, he was a big, big fish. He had a cool haircut while the other guys were still sporting the Mo Stooge look. He played the guitar. He broke my poor little naive heart.
Not that he actually did anything. It was more like I was so shy and awkward that I was afraid to even speak to this kid. Like almost everywhere else in this world, I did not fit in in high school. I was poor, like, really really poor. Thank goodness we wore uniforms, because I owned one pair of jeans. One. I had friends, for sure, but I maintained my social status by remaining aloof. No one really knew me well, except maybe a couple of teachers. Even had I been popular, I doubt that I would have actually dated anyone in high school. But the feeling of inadequacy that kept me from making friends with this cool kid became so intertwined with my personality that to this day I view myself as a misanthrope. Perhaps if I had stayed at that school I would have grown up, gotten over it, talked to this boy, and realized that, however cool someone else looks, when it comes right down to it, I am the shiz.
But I didn't stay. Mid-way through my junior year, I transferred to public school. In my new school I had instant cache. My mom was the coolest teacher, and everyone wanted to see what her daughter was like. I had a job by then and was able to dress the part. I was invited to the cool table the very first day. When I had a party a couple of months after I arrived, everyone I invited came. Not only did I make friends easily, but the teachers were delighted instead of annoyed by my precociousness, and I soon gained a reputation for being smart. The confidence this inspired allowed me to go on to college and law school, and to hold my own there.
However, all my carefully constructed self-esteem dropped on the floor when I saw this boy again. He looked the same, hipster clothes, cool hair. I tried to think of what I would say to him, and all of my childhood insecurities came rolling back over me. He wouldn't even remember me, I thought. He'll just stare at me blankly like he's never seen me before.
I sat in the service and tried to quell the anxiety that I felt. I started to listen to the sermon. It was about the Future Hope. The preacher said that what we were looking forward to was so incomparable to the suffering of today that it was not even worth comparing. At one point he asked everyone to think of their suffering. Now, I am the first to admit that I've had a pretty easy life. So what came to mind was pretty trivial. I thought about all of the times I'd cried myself to sleep in high school. I thought about the anxiety of all of those social situations where I felt out of place. I thought about the times when I had felt totally alone, when I felt like I was a jerk, when I felt like I was just plain boring. And most importantly, I thought of how afraid I was to talk to this guy.
In high school he never really did anything mean to me in particular, but I had come to see him through the lens of the stereotypical cool kid from high school dramas, and I resented him. I resented that we could not be easy friends, that he was rarely interested in me while I was always interested in him. I resented that, even now, with my hottie husband by my side, I felt inadequate around him.
This was my particular brand of suffering that I focused on during the sermon. And when I isolated these feelings, I was able to set them aside, and sort of say, "so what?" So I can't talk to this guy. And that was that. I didn't feel the need to track him down and flaunt all of my achievements. I was just... fine. It wasn't that I felt cool all of a sudden, it was more like that I felt ok with not being cool.
It turned out that after the service while I was talking to another friend, this guy came up to me. Not only did he remember me, he ran up and gave me a hug. After I introduced my husband and told him about my son, he gushed about how much he wanted to settle down and how lucky we were. He was unemployed, living at home, had never finished college. I say this not because it made me happy, surprisingly. It was more that I glimpsed a different life for myself, and it made me very happy that I have the life that I do. But the most interesting part about it was that this guy was really nice. All of the little slights that I had imagined as a girl were likely just that. I felt relief that I hadn't wasted my time pining over some jerk, and I felt relief that I was too shy to talk to him!
As we talked about old teachers and where our classmates are now, I realized something. I had always been cool enough, I just never knew it until now.
It was my old high school crush from my private Christian school. I had pined over this boy since the first day of high school. In the tiny fish bowl of my little private school, he was a big, big fish. He had a cool haircut while the other guys were still sporting the Mo Stooge look. He played the guitar. He broke my poor little naive heart.
Not that he actually did anything. It was more like I was so shy and awkward that I was afraid to even speak to this kid. Like almost everywhere else in this world, I did not fit in in high school. I was poor, like, really really poor. Thank goodness we wore uniforms, because I owned one pair of jeans. One. I had friends, for sure, but I maintained my social status by remaining aloof. No one really knew me well, except maybe a couple of teachers. Even had I been popular, I doubt that I would have actually dated anyone in high school. But the feeling of inadequacy that kept me from making friends with this cool kid became so intertwined with my personality that to this day I view myself as a misanthrope. Perhaps if I had stayed at that school I would have grown up, gotten over it, talked to this boy, and realized that, however cool someone else looks, when it comes right down to it, I am the shiz.
But I didn't stay. Mid-way through my junior year, I transferred to public school. In my new school I had instant cache. My mom was the coolest teacher, and everyone wanted to see what her daughter was like. I had a job by then and was able to dress the part. I was invited to the cool table the very first day. When I had a party a couple of months after I arrived, everyone I invited came. Not only did I make friends easily, but the teachers were delighted instead of annoyed by my precociousness, and I soon gained a reputation for being smart. The confidence this inspired allowed me to go on to college and law school, and to hold my own there.
However, all my carefully constructed self-esteem dropped on the floor when I saw this boy again. He looked the same, hipster clothes, cool hair. I tried to think of what I would say to him, and all of my childhood insecurities came rolling back over me. He wouldn't even remember me, I thought. He'll just stare at me blankly like he's never seen me before.
I sat in the service and tried to quell the anxiety that I felt. I started to listen to the sermon. It was about the Future Hope. The preacher said that what we were looking forward to was so incomparable to the suffering of today that it was not even worth comparing. At one point he asked everyone to think of their suffering. Now, I am the first to admit that I've had a pretty easy life. So what came to mind was pretty trivial. I thought about all of the times I'd cried myself to sleep in high school. I thought about the anxiety of all of those social situations where I felt out of place. I thought about the times when I had felt totally alone, when I felt like I was a jerk, when I felt like I was just plain boring. And most importantly, I thought of how afraid I was to talk to this guy.
In high school he never really did anything mean to me in particular, but I had come to see him through the lens of the stereotypical cool kid from high school dramas, and I resented him. I resented that we could not be easy friends, that he was rarely interested in me while I was always interested in him. I resented that, even now, with my hottie husband by my side, I felt inadequate around him.
This was my particular brand of suffering that I focused on during the sermon. And when I isolated these feelings, I was able to set them aside, and sort of say, "so what?" So I can't talk to this guy. And that was that. I didn't feel the need to track him down and flaunt all of my achievements. I was just... fine. It wasn't that I felt cool all of a sudden, it was more like that I felt ok with not being cool.
It turned out that after the service while I was talking to another friend, this guy came up to me. Not only did he remember me, he ran up and gave me a hug. After I introduced my husband and told him about my son, he gushed about how much he wanted to settle down and how lucky we were. He was unemployed, living at home, had never finished college. I say this not because it made me happy, surprisingly. It was more that I glimpsed a different life for myself, and it made me very happy that I have the life that I do. But the most interesting part about it was that this guy was really nice. All of the little slights that I had imagined as a girl were likely just that. I felt relief that I hadn't wasted my time pining over some jerk, and I felt relief that I was too shy to talk to him!
As we talked about old teachers and where our classmates are now, I realized something. I had always been cool enough, I just never knew it until now.
Faithfulness
We're on a budget. Not a "save for a down payment" or "Florida vacation" budget. Like a "our income just covers our rent and loan payments" budget. This has been challenging for me, especially at this time of the year when I really want to buy Christmas presents and throw a party every weekend. Not to mention two of my best friends are getting married in December, and there is nothing I'd rather do than shower them right.
It has also been a struggle to keep tithing when I know that, on paper at least, we can't afford to. That said, I have to share how God has been faithful to us over the past couple of months. I cannot begin to explain how we are still doing fine even though at the start of this year I was certain that I would have to get a job and leave Henry with someone else all day. (Not a judgment of anyone else, I just really want to be home with him right now).
My husband has a very prestigious legal job. When our friends hear about it, when other lawyers hear about it, they are very impressed. Unfortunately for us this prestigious job does not pay as much as a family of three needs to live in NJ.
Despite the fact that we cannot pay our bills on paper, in real life God has provided for us and blessed us beyond anything that we could have imagined. Sometimes it's a refund of a deposit we gave to the utility company when we first moved in. Another time the ultrasound place returned some copays I had given them when I was pregnant. It was a mistake, they said. Yeah right! Most recently our NJ tax refund was direct deposited into our bank account, an amount greater than my husband's pay check.
We found a way to consolidate many of our student loans into two loans, and chose a payment plan that is income-based and that forgives the balance of any unpaid educational loans after 25 years. With this plan, we are free to take jobs that we want, instead of being enslaved to the loan payments. I had no idea this was even an option until recently.
While we need to be responsible with the money that God has given us, it is also possible, I think, to limit ourselves by what we see on paper. Who knows what God will do with the money that we tithed this month? I don't mean to make this too legalistic, and I know that I do have a tendency to view giving in that way, but what if we had limited ourselves to the budget without any room for God to work? We would have been secure financially, but we might have never seen God's faithfulness in answering our prayers.
It has also been a struggle to keep tithing when I know that, on paper at least, we can't afford to. That said, I have to share how God has been faithful to us over the past couple of months. I cannot begin to explain how we are still doing fine even though at the start of this year I was certain that I would have to get a job and leave Henry with someone else all day. (Not a judgment of anyone else, I just really want to be home with him right now).
My husband has a very prestigious legal job. When our friends hear about it, when other lawyers hear about it, they are very impressed. Unfortunately for us this prestigious job does not pay as much as a family of three needs to live in NJ.
Despite the fact that we cannot pay our bills on paper, in real life God has provided for us and blessed us beyond anything that we could have imagined. Sometimes it's a refund of a deposit we gave to the utility company when we first moved in. Another time the ultrasound place returned some copays I had given them when I was pregnant. It was a mistake, they said. Yeah right! Most recently our NJ tax refund was direct deposited into our bank account, an amount greater than my husband's pay check.
We found a way to consolidate many of our student loans into two loans, and chose a payment plan that is income-based and that forgives the balance of any unpaid educational loans after 25 years. With this plan, we are free to take jobs that we want, instead of being enslaved to the loan payments. I had no idea this was even an option until recently.
While we need to be responsible with the money that God has given us, it is also possible, I think, to limit ourselves by what we see on paper. Who knows what God will do with the money that we tithed this month? I don't mean to make this too legalistic, and I know that I do have a tendency to view giving in that way, but what if we had limited ourselves to the budget without any room for God to work? We would have been secure financially, but we might have never seen God's faithfulness in answering our prayers.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Tweeting the Post-PostModern
I set up a twitter account, but haven't tweeted anything yet. I guess my thoughts run a bit more wild than the short and pithy 140-character update.
Since I'm in the still in the dark ages when it comes to current technology, I don't know which of my friends are tweeting yet, so I just followed a couple of writers whose names I recognized.
I didn't know quite what to expect, but I have to say, it was pretty disheartening to see the focus of some of these currently popular literary folks. Without offending anyone by talking politics or religion, let's just say that my worldview tends towards the hyperopic. In other words, I believe in an eternal soul, which pretty much shapes the way I think about every other issue.
But this distinction aside, I was expecting the wordsmiths of our day to rise above the mundane rhetoric of our time and deliver something new, or, if that would be too much, at least something classic.
I was disappointed to find the usual gammut of hot topics of the day, the woeful economy, the environment, blah blah blah. The same old little or big end of the egg arguments that the politicians have been bantering about in order to drum up interest in their election campaigns.
Now I'm not promoting escapism as the only purpose of fiction writing, and of course people are free to write, or tweet, whatever they want, but it does seem to me that writers ought to be creative enough to move a step further than the entertainment/news status quo.
Which brings me to my final challenge to the literary community. I say challenge and not criticism, and this is why: it is so much easier to tear down than to build up.
So much of our generation has grown up in a time when minimalism, at least asthetically, is king. "Do away with traditions, they only serve to limit you. Forget the elaborate reasoning of the past, history is only so much baggage to carry around, just drop it and be free to create something new. And religion! The biggest offender of all! Religious people are all crazy. That is the simplest way to deal with the Big Questions. Just assume that there is no God without ever taking the time to think about it. And once this assumption is made everything else falls into place so easily. Secular humanism and a democratic government will be enough to keep us all from killing each other, and in the mean time we can all do what is right in our own eyes without worrying about universal truth or an outside standard of morality." The artistic epression of our time is riddled with the easy performance of tearing down the establishment. The theme is so rampant that it is getting, ironically, old.
This thinking is why, in my humble opinion, we are so focused on the problems that keep the news shows' ratings up. If you believe that you really die when you die, it makes the problems of today paramount. Take the environment, for instance. The idea that man, that man in the industrial age, has so damaged the earth that it will be forever changed and may cease to exist as we know in a very short amount of time is at first a horrifying thought. But seen through the lens of secular humanism, the idea that we have the power to destroy the world, that the world in effect will die with us, is intoxicating. How can our egos resist such an idea? That we have such control over the universe is a compelling thought for a bunch of finite creatures with an inexplicable ability to comprehend the eternal.
And so the easy route is to bemoan our carbon emissions and stare dismally ahead at the smog-filled future of our grandchildren, should they survive. This is not art, people.
I want us to be remembered as more than just well-liked and less accurate Cassandras. So here is the challenge: Innovate. Analyze, certainly, but do something more than complain. Observe, but with an eye towards creativity. If poets can no longer look past the petty grievances of our time and envision a better future than who will? While every writer is in some ways limited to the time in which he or she is born, great writers share a vision that pierces through the myopic viel of finite extence. So, writers, stop recycling the media flavor of the day and tweet something that won't be obsolete in a few years!
Note: I get it that the whole medium of twitter is that the words are there and gone, and the form of expression is meant to be somewhat intangible. But the point is really about the larger body of literary writing in general, and so still stands.
Since I'm in the still in the dark ages when it comes to current technology, I don't know which of my friends are tweeting yet, so I just followed a couple of writers whose names I recognized.
I didn't know quite what to expect, but I have to say, it was pretty disheartening to see the focus of some of these currently popular literary folks. Without offending anyone by talking politics or religion, let's just say that my worldview tends towards the hyperopic. In other words, I believe in an eternal soul, which pretty much shapes the way I think about every other issue.
But this distinction aside, I was expecting the wordsmiths of our day to rise above the mundane rhetoric of our time and deliver something new, or, if that would be too much, at least something classic.
I was disappointed to find the usual gammut of hot topics of the day, the woeful economy, the environment, blah blah blah. The same old little or big end of the egg arguments that the politicians have been bantering about in order to drum up interest in their election campaigns.
Now I'm not promoting escapism as the only purpose of fiction writing, and of course people are free to write, or tweet, whatever they want, but it does seem to me that writers ought to be creative enough to move a step further than the entertainment/news status quo.
Which brings me to my final challenge to the literary community. I say challenge and not criticism, and this is why: it is so much easier to tear down than to build up.
So much of our generation has grown up in a time when minimalism, at least asthetically, is king. "Do away with traditions, they only serve to limit you. Forget the elaborate reasoning of the past, history is only so much baggage to carry around, just drop it and be free to create something new. And religion! The biggest offender of all! Religious people are all crazy. That is the simplest way to deal with the Big Questions. Just assume that there is no God without ever taking the time to think about it. And once this assumption is made everything else falls into place so easily. Secular humanism and a democratic government will be enough to keep us all from killing each other, and in the mean time we can all do what is right in our own eyes without worrying about universal truth or an outside standard of morality." The artistic epression of our time is riddled with the easy performance of tearing down the establishment. The theme is so rampant that it is getting, ironically, old.
This thinking is why, in my humble opinion, we are so focused on the problems that keep the news shows' ratings up. If you believe that you really die when you die, it makes the problems of today paramount. Take the environment, for instance. The idea that man, that man in the industrial age, has so damaged the earth that it will be forever changed and may cease to exist as we know in a very short amount of time is at first a horrifying thought. But seen through the lens of secular humanism, the idea that we have the power to destroy the world, that the world in effect will die with us, is intoxicating. How can our egos resist such an idea? That we have such control over the universe is a compelling thought for a bunch of finite creatures with an inexplicable ability to comprehend the eternal.
And so the easy route is to bemoan our carbon emissions and stare dismally ahead at the smog-filled future of our grandchildren, should they survive. This is not art, people.
I want us to be remembered as more than just well-liked and less accurate Cassandras. So here is the challenge: Innovate. Analyze, certainly, but do something more than complain. Observe, but with an eye towards creativity. If poets can no longer look past the petty grievances of our time and envision a better future than who will? While every writer is in some ways limited to the time in which he or she is born, great writers share a vision that pierces through the myopic viel of finite extence. So, writers, stop recycling the media flavor of the day and tweet something that won't be obsolete in a few years!
Note: I get it that the whole medium of twitter is that the words are there and gone, and the form of expression is meant to be somewhat intangible. But the point is really about the larger body of literary writing in general, and so still stands.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Halloween
Greg wanted us to be Mario and Princess Peach for Halloween this year. I made Henry a star costume to match.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Anisocial Behavior
We're having a Halloween party tomorrow and as of right now I'm thinking that only a few friends are going to show. It used to be that when we had a party I would invite ten people and twenty-five would show up. I guess it's that all of our single friends are out looking for dates and our married friends are all home with their kids, plus they all live at least 45 minutes away.
Yup.
It's definitely that and not that I refuse to answer my phone or leave my house. :)
Yup.
It's definitely that and not that I refuse to answer my phone or leave my house. :)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
100th Post - Let me be very honest
A lot has changed for me since starting this blog 2 years ago. In my self-description I said that I longed to be something more than the overworked law student that I was. In that list I mentioned that I wanted to be a mom and a novelist, among other things.
Now, 100 posts later I've finished law school and am living one of my dreams. Henry will be a year old in November, and because of my awesomely supportive husband, I am staying home with him this year. Not only am I a mom, I've also been using my few scattered hours of free time to work on the novel that's been in my head for almost 10 years. Getting these words out feels so right to me. I know that writing is a part of who I am, and to finally be able to fulfill that is just so amazing, I can't even describe it.
But even though my days are full, I can't help but feel like there is something important missing. Maybe I'm just starting to miss the person I was before law school, before I met my husband. I miss that independent girl who went to Russia not knowing a soul (or 10 words in Russian). I miss the girl who pulled teeth in a Bolivian village until the sun went down and she couldn't see anymore. I miss the girl who didn't worry about nickels and dimes, even though she was broke. I miss the girl who didn't care about having a boyfriend because her life was so full that she didn't have time to date. I miss the girl who cried when she prayed, and who was amazed when her prayers were answered again and again. I miss this girl.
And now I feel like my life is so much better in so many ways. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful son who wakes up every day full of joy, more money than I ever had in college. Yet I feel sometimes that the things I do everyday, the way I occupy my hours can seem so meaningless. There is a great big world out there and I stay in my little house, mopping my little floors, washing our little loads of dirty clothes. I feel codependent on Greg, I can't imagine us spending more than a couple of days apart. But more than that, I feel like my thoughts, the things I say to him just aren't a surprise anymore. I've become a cliche.
I'm in a rut. A very comfortable rut. A fun rut, even. I enjoy playing with Henry, planning our little social calendar, buying the groceries, paying the bills, making the plans. But I know there is more to life than this. And so I am about to do something very scary. Something I've only done once before.
I'm going to pray that God helps me grow. The last time I did this I was broken down to nothing. Everything I had, every support system was taken away from me and I was all alone. While this was one of the lowest times in my life, it was also how I was able to become the woman I am today. I still miss that girl that I used to be, but I would never want to be like her, not in a million years. Today I am so much stronger and smarter than that girl, because of what God did. Because it was when I was all alone, crying by myself in a strange place with no one, nothing left to cling to - that I heard that steady promise.
"I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU"
At that moment I knew that no matter what happened, however down I was, I would never be alone. The whole world could be against me, I could lose everything, and still He would never leave me or forsake me.
And I want to live my life under the shadow of that truth. Not to chafe under the guilty compulsion to appear spiritual. I want to trust that my God will provide for me, as He always has, without feeling like it's my personal duty to worry about every worse-case scenario. I want to be free to think in terms of eternity, not just according to my weekly budget. I want to do the job of mother and wife without feeling defined by those jobs. In short, I want something deeper.
Since one of my secret desires (becoming a mother) was fulfilled after writing about it here, I figure it can't hurt to just say it. I want to get to the next level. I want to be mature and complete, lacking nothing. I want the confidence that that girl had, but a wise confidence. I want to give more than I take from the world. I want to be prepared for the worst, but hopeful for the best at the same time. Most of all, I want to hop up out of this rut and be positive for once.
One hundred posts from now, I want to see a change.
Now, 100 posts later I've finished law school and am living one of my dreams. Henry will be a year old in November, and because of my awesomely supportive husband, I am staying home with him this year. Not only am I a mom, I've also been using my few scattered hours of free time to work on the novel that's been in my head for almost 10 years. Getting these words out feels so right to me. I know that writing is a part of who I am, and to finally be able to fulfill that is just so amazing, I can't even describe it.
But even though my days are full, I can't help but feel like there is something important missing. Maybe I'm just starting to miss the person I was before law school, before I met my husband. I miss that independent girl who went to Russia not knowing a soul (or 10 words in Russian). I miss the girl who pulled teeth in a Bolivian village until the sun went down and she couldn't see anymore. I miss the girl who didn't worry about nickels and dimes, even though she was broke. I miss the girl who didn't care about having a boyfriend because her life was so full that she didn't have time to date. I miss the girl who cried when she prayed, and who was amazed when her prayers were answered again and again. I miss this girl.
And now I feel like my life is so much better in so many ways. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful son who wakes up every day full of joy, more money than I ever had in college. Yet I feel sometimes that the things I do everyday, the way I occupy my hours can seem so meaningless. There is a great big world out there and I stay in my little house, mopping my little floors, washing our little loads of dirty clothes. I feel codependent on Greg, I can't imagine us spending more than a couple of days apart. But more than that, I feel like my thoughts, the things I say to him just aren't a surprise anymore. I've become a cliche.
I'm in a rut. A very comfortable rut. A fun rut, even. I enjoy playing with Henry, planning our little social calendar, buying the groceries, paying the bills, making the plans. But I know there is more to life than this. And so I am about to do something very scary. Something I've only done once before.
I'm going to pray that God helps me grow. The last time I did this I was broken down to nothing. Everything I had, every support system was taken away from me and I was all alone. While this was one of the lowest times in my life, it was also how I was able to become the woman I am today. I still miss that girl that I used to be, but I would never want to be like her, not in a million years. Today I am so much stronger and smarter than that girl, because of what God did. Because it was when I was all alone, crying by myself in a strange place with no one, nothing left to cling to - that I heard that steady promise.
"I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU"
At that moment I knew that no matter what happened, however down I was, I would never be alone. The whole world could be against me, I could lose everything, and still He would never leave me or forsake me.
And I want to live my life under the shadow of that truth. Not to chafe under the guilty compulsion to appear spiritual. I want to trust that my God will provide for me, as He always has, without feeling like it's my personal duty to worry about every worse-case scenario. I want to be free to think in terms of eternity, not just according to my weekly budget. I want to do the job of mother and wife without feeling defined by those jobs. In short, I want something deeper.
Since one of my secret desires (becoming a mother) was fulfilled after writing about it here, I figure it can't hurt to just say it. I want to get to the next level. I want to be mature and complete, lacking nothing. I want the confidence that that girl had, but a wise confidence. I want to give more than I take from the world. I want to be prepared for the worst, but hopeful for the best at the same time. Most of all, I want to hop up out of this rut and be positive for once.
One hundred posts from now, I want to see a change.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Party Planning
I don't know why, it must be a stay-at-home mom thing. But I am obsessed with party planning. After my sister's enormous baby shower I can't wait to go back to our relatively simple house parties. I'm having a Halloween party on the 30th, mostly for my single/no kids friends.
Then Nov. 13th is Henry's first birthday party. I wanted to keep it really low key since babies usually get peeved by lots of loud people in their houses, but the list is already growing and the more I plan the crazier it gets. I drew the line at live party entertainment for the kids, because honestly, I don't think another body will fit in our house. It's going to be a Sesame Street party and I just finished up the invitations tonight.
After that I'll probably do something for Christmas, and we haven't even set a date for my friend's bridal shower (wedding is Dec. 18th).
While all these parties are fun, I am glad that we'll be going away for New Years. It may be too much of a good thing!
Then Nov. 13th is Henry's first birthday party. I wanted to keep it really low key since babies usually get peeved by lots of loud people in their houses, but the list is already growing and the more I plan the crazier it gets. I drew the line at live party entertainment for the kids, because honestly, I don't think another body will fit in our house. It's going to be a Sesame Street party and I just finished up the invitations tonight.
After that I'll probably do something for Christmas, and we haven't even set a date for my friend's bridal shower (wedding is Dec. 18th).
While all these parties are fun, I am glad that we'll be going away for New Years. It may be too much of a good thing!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Novel Update
Almost done with the first two chapters. It's difficult because I keep wanting to go back and just fix them instead of moving on. I also have a pretty solid outline of the rest of the book.
Writing has been slow because Henry has been sick - in other words, up crying when he should be sleeping and when I should be writing. Luckily Greg has Columbus day off so I've had a chance to write for a while today. I'm confident that I can do this. I just have to psych myself up for it.
My goal is to have a first draft by the end of February. According to my outline, that's about 4-5 chapters a month, or one a week. Pretty stiff pace! But since I know what I want to write I think it's a reasonable goal.
Writing has been slow because Henry has been sick - in other words, up crying when he should be sleeping and when I should be writing. Luckily Greg has Columbus day off so I've had a chance to write for a while today. I'm confident that I can do this. I just have to psych myself up for it.
My goal is to have a first draft by the end of February. According to my outline, that's about 4-5 chapters a month, or one a week. Pretty stiff pace! But since I know what I want to write I think it's a reasonable goal.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Fall/Newborn Pictures
Two babies + two outfits each = chaos at the photo place.
I made the tutu in about 20 minutes with some ribbon, a spool of brown wedding tulle, and a giant fake mum.
We grabbed Henry's outfit from Old Navy on the way there. It was a lot cuter with the hood, but he refused to keep it on. Kind of a trend with him lately. Hats, shoes, socks, pants - it all comes off as soon as he gets the chance.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
WhY aM I WrItInG LiKe tHiS?
After about 2 weeks of staying home with Henry while Greg goes off to work, I can honestly say that I'm lovin' this housewife life. Sure, the chores are repetitive and sometimes I long for someone to talk to (who will talk to me in actual words). But spending all day with my son has given me the opportunity to do some of the things I really love. I don't feel guilty when we take a long walk. I don't feel rushed when he hands me the same book three times in a row. I can sleep in as late as Henry does (which is sometimes 10!), and better yet, I can stay up late writing. I'm not too exhausted to cook dinner, and I don't feel the need to eat junk food to deal with the stress in my life. In fact, without any plan to diet or work out, the weight I gained in law school is practically melting off. I even get to read a book now and then, just for fun. While my house is usually in a state of chaos, I know that it won't be a month before I have time to clean the bathroom. I know that I won't have to worry about telling someone else every detail about how to take care of Henry, because I make the bottles, I change the diapers, I put him down for naps.
I guess the bigger question is: will I ever be able to go back to the world I left?
P.S.
Because Greg just fixed my shift key. Henry pried it off a couple of months ago and we just found it under our bed. It feels good to be able to capitalize at whim.
I guess the bigger question is: will I ever be able to go back to the world I left?
P.S.
Because Greg just fixed my shift key. Henry pried it off a couple of months ago and we just found it under our bed. It feels good to be able to capitalize at whim.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Shabby Chic Bunny Baby Shower
I meant to blog about my sister's baby shower last week after it happened, but she ended up getting induced that Monday (3 weeks early), and since she was right in the middle of moving, as you might imagine I haven't stopped had time to look at the computer!
My sister picked out this adorable shabby chic crib set with a mobile that had little white bunnies in dresses. Inspired by the cute nursery, I decided to try to do a shabby chic, bunny baby shower.
Here's a picture of the room before many people arrived. This actually Sarah's church's community room. The guys emptied out all of the extra stuff so that it would look really nice for the shower. Some of the guests who go to the church couldn't believe it was the same room.
The banner was simple to make, I just took some leftover scrapbook paper I had and cut out triangles and letters, then white circles to set off the letters. Then I just threaded some ribbon through holes I made with the hole-puncher, and put a little tape on the back to keep the ribbon spaced out when it was hung up.
You can't really see the centerpiece in this picture, but I got a case of 1 quart mason jars and painted some off-white, some sage green, and some aqua blue. Then I took a tooth brush and splattered a contrasting color on the jars. Finally I decoupaged on an image of a rose that I found online (very shabby chic), and finished it off with some dark brown ribbon. For the flowers I just went to Shop Rite and got some pink roses, white spider mums (they had to give me some other large flowers because all of the spider mums I'd ordered didn't come in), ferny greens and baby's breath. Then Trouwbottom came the night before to arrange them. (Did you know Trouwbottom was raised in a flower shop? True story.
For the food we decided to go with brunch to keep it simple. My brother-in-law's mom did the fruit. I cut up cheese and got muffins and danishes from Costco. I ordered shrimp and sandwiches, my mom and Sarah made some egg/cheese/sausage casseroles from a Paula Dean cookbook (yum!), and my mom cooked up some frozen tater tots.
I found a good video tutorial on how to fold these bunny napkins online. I made the napkin rings out of some ribbon and little puff balls from Michaels.
I ordered the chair covers from tableclothfactory online as well as the tablecloths and napkins. For the sashes, we used some rolls of that tulle you get at the party store and just added a small tissue paper flower. This picture is of probably the last chair I did, because the flower is smooshed and I was running out of tulle, the rest had a big loose bow of tulle. To make this size flower, I cut the tissue paper sheets in half, then the halves in thirds to make 6 small sheets from every 1 big sheet. Each flower is 5 sheets thick.
For the tissue puffs that we hung from the ceiling, I used whole and half sheets, and pink, brown, white, aqua blue, yellow, and polka dot tissue paper. We hung 3 over each table. To tie the flowers I used wire, and then added the ribbon to hang them before we fluffed them up. It really helped that we waited to fluff them until the day before.
Trouwbottom's whole family came to help out!
Here's the room with everyone starting to fill it up. I'm not sure how many people showed up, but 77 RSVP'd!
My mom made the chocolate bunny pops from some Easter molds I found online. The pencils were from Oriental Trading Co. and were for the games, although because there were so many people we ended up playing the timer game (set a timer and when it goes off whoever's gift the mom is opening gets a prize), to make it simpler. So the pencils were just an extra favor.
A bad picture of the cake, which was actually really nice and tasted sooo good. Chocolate raspberry, from Wegmans. I also ordered Italian pasteries, which were a big hit.
My sister's high school English teacher and good friend gave a great talk about using your words to uplift and encourage instead of tearing people down. Great advice for busy moms!
Henry was very tired but managed to stay awake and in a good mood for almost the whole shower.
My sister picked out this adorable shabby chic crib set with a mobile that had little white bunnies in dresses. Inspired by the cute nursery, I decided to try to do a shabby chic, bunny baby shower.
Here's a picture of the room before many people arrived. This actually Sarah's church's community room. The guys emptied out all of the extra stuff so that it would look really nice for the shower. Some of the guests who go to the church couldn't believe it was the same room.
The banner was simple to make, I just took some leftover scrapbook paper I had and cut out triangles and letters, then white circles to set off the letters. Then I just threaded some ribbon through holes I made with the hole-puncher, and put a little tape on the back to keep the ribbon spaced out when it was hung up.
You can't really see the centerpiece in this picture, but I got a case of 1 quart mason jars and painted some off-white, some sage green, and some aqua blue. Then I took a tooth brush and splattered a contrasting color on the jars. Finally I decoupaged on an image of a rose that I found online (very shabby chic), and finished it off with some dark brown ribbon. For the flowers I just went to Shop Rite and got some pink roses, white spider mums (they had to give me some other large flowers because all of the spider mums I'd ordered didn't come in), ferny greens and baby's breath. Then Trouwbottom came the night before to arrange them. (Did you know Trouwbottom was raised in a flower shop? True story.
For the food we decided to go with brunch to keep it simple. My brother-in-law's mom did the fruit. I cut up cheese and got muffins and danishes from Costco. I ordered shrimp and sandwiches, my mom and Sarah made some egg/cheese/sausage casseroles from a Paula Dean cookbook (yum!), and my mom cooked up some frozen tater tots.
I found a good video tutorial on how to fold these bunny napkins online. I made the napkin rings out of some ribbon and little puff balls from Michaels.
I ordered the chair covers from tableclothfactory online as well as the tablecloths and napkins. For the sashes, we used some rolls of that tulle you get at the party store and just added a small tissue paper flower. This picture is of probably the last chair I did, because the flower is smooshed and I was running out of tulle, the rest had a big loose bow of tulle. To make this size flower, I cut the tissue paper sheets in half, then the halves in thirds to make 6 small sheets from every 1 big sheet. Each flower is 5 sheets thick.
For the tissue puffs that we hung from the ceiling, I used whole and half sheets, and pink, brown, white, aqua blue, yellow, and polka dot tissue paper. We hung 3 over each table. To tie the flowers I used wire, and then added the ribbon to hang them before we fluffed them up. It really helped that we waited to fluff them until the day before.
Trouwbottom's whole family came to help out!
Here's the room with everyone starting to fill it up. I'm not sure how many people showed up, but 77 RSVP'd!
My mom made the chocolate bunny pops from some Easter molds I found online. The pencils were from Oriental Trading Co. and were for the games, although because there were so many people we ended up playing the timer game (set a timer and when it goes off whoever's gift the mom is opening gets a prize), to make it simpler. So the pencils were just an extra favor.
A bad picture of the cake, which was actually really nice and tasted sooo good. Chocolate raspberry, from Wegmans. I also ordered Italian pasteries, which were a big hit.
My sister's high school English teacher and good friend gave a great talk about using your words to uplift and encourage instead of tearing people down. Great advice for busy moms!
Henry was very tired but managed to stay awake and in a good mood for almost the whole shower.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wish List
Christmas is a very big deal around here, and Christmas presents are always abundant. (I know, it's not about that...). While I enjoy a nice pile of stuff on Christmas morning, I hate when I get a gift that I don't want, and that my family didn't really want to get me, but they felt obligated to buy just because it was Christmas. That's why last year when my mom asked me what I wanted I politely asked if she could just give me the cash she would have spent on my gifts so that I could use it for things I really needed (mom jeans to replace my maternity clothes, an estate tax text book, a gas bill, you get the drift). My mom was happy to avoid shopping, and I was happy to get a gift I actually needed. But... I have to say that there is something about that feeling of excitement when you see a box under the tree with your name on it and you don't know what's inside.
So this year I suggested that we make Amazon wish lists for Christmas. That way we're not buying each other a bunch of useless crap nobody wants (instead likely we'll be buying useless crap that we do want).
What's on my wish list? Some dishes that I love, some uggs, a bag, some books for Henry, a ridiculously nice camera that no one will be able to afford (but I can dream can't I?)
Some of these things are practical, others show what I really like, but all in all, the list doesn't really capture what I need right now. If I was to make a wish list just for today, this is what would be on it:
1) a maid!
2) a massage
3) someone to take Henry to go get his shots/some painless way of getting his shots
4) professional servers to work at my sister's baby shower
5) an office to retreat to in my house
6) someone to vacuum out my car
7) an otherwise harmless parasite that would cause me to suddenly drop 20 lbs.
8) a day all to myself
So this year I suggested that we make Amazon wish lists for Christmas. That way we're not buying each other a bunch of useless crap nobody wants (instead likely we'll be buying useless crap that we do want).
What's on my wish list? Some dishes that I love, some uggs, a bag, some books for Henry, a ridiculously nice camera that no one will be able to afford (but I can dream can't I?)
Some of these things are practical, others show what I really like, but all in all, the list doesn't really capture what I need right now. If I was to make a wish list just for today, this is what would be on it:
1) a maid!
2) a massage
3) someone to take Henry to go get his shots/some painless way of getting his shots
4) professional servers to work at my sister's baby shower
5) an office to retreat to in my house
6) someone to vacuum out my car
7) an otherwise harmless parasite that would cause me to suddenly drop 20 lbs.
8) a day all to myself
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
No work and all play
Today was my first day trying out this stay-at-home mom thing. Greg's new job officially started today and Henry and I were left to our own devices. My staying at home is in the trial phase, since I've never done it and we're not quite sure that I won't go insane.
In general the day went well, although through some random circumstances we ended up without a car and it was way too hot to walk outside, so we were pretty cooped up. Henry has a lot of energy and needs to crawl around big spaces in order to be happy. Our cottage does not qualify as a wide open space, so he was mildly cranky until Greg got home and took him for an evening beach run. Whenever we take Henry to the beach, we just put him down and he takes off crawling in any direction for about a mile, then winds his way towards the ocean to play in the surf. At first he would pick up shells and try to taste them, and I would take them away. Pretty soon he would just pick up the shell and hand it right over to me! Now he just examines stuff for a minute and then throws it away.
I am definitely going to have to make a more structured schedule/routine, because playing on the floor with Henry's toys and reading those Llama llama books 10 times in a row may make him happy, but it's going to drive mommy crazy.
In general the day went well, although through some random circumstances we ended up without a car and it was way too hot to walk outside, so we were pretty cooped up. Henry has a lot of energy and needs to crawl around big spaces in order to be happy. Our cottage does not qualify as a wide open space, so he was mildly cranky until Greg got home and took him for an evening beach run. Whenever we take Henry to the beach, we just put him down and he takes off crawling in any direction for about a mile, then winds his way towards the ocean to play in the surf. At first he would pick up shells and try to taste them, and I would take them away. Pretty soon he would just pick up the shell and hand it right over to me! Now he just examines stuff for a minute and then throws it away.
I am definitely going to have to make a more structured schedule/routine, because playing on the floor with Henry's toys and reading those Llama llama books 10 times in a row may make him happy, but it's going to drive mommy crazy.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Just another update
DONE DONE DONE!!!!
We spent two days in Albany taking the NY local day and the Multistate day. The exams were grueling, but not as bad as I expected. I think there was some kind of adrenaline rush that got me through.
After day two we drove down to Secaucus and spent the night, then took NJ which we didn't really prepare for at all. It was way easier than NY, but the proctors were evil and took my watch away so for the first couple of hours I had no idea if my pacing was any good. All in all it was not so bad.
After the last day we drove home and I just held Henry all night. (I cried two out of the three nights we were away because I missed him so much)
Then we packed up and flew to TN to visit Greg's Dad. We also took Grampa-Dad's little plane to Georgia where Henry met his Great Grandparents, Grandma and Grandpa Byrd. For the first time Henry got shy around all the new people and wouldn't go to just anyone, but that didn't stop him from crawling around their legs as fast as he could.
When we got back to TN, Henry explored the Grampa-Dad's big house and went swimming every night in the pool. (too hot to swim during the day) We also took him to a mall that had a playground. There were huge kids running around and I thought he might be scared, but he just jumped right in and crawled around with them.
The plane ride back was great, Henry slept half the time and did hilarious tricks for the rest.
Today we tried to make a plan for the next three weeks of vacation so we don't end up wondering where it all went. On the agenda: planning Sarah's baby shower, looking at places to move, a party for our friends on the 21st, and gearing up for Greg's new job. And getting together with all of the friends we've been neglecting. Whew!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Top Ten legal words that make me giggle while studying
10) spousal privilege
9) horizontal privity
8) springing executory interest
7) invading the corpus
6) statement against penal interest
5) adverse possession
4) reciprocal negative servitude
3) Terry stop and frisk
2) the naked summons
1) the wild deed
9) horizontal privity
8) springing executory interest
7) invading the corpus
6) statement against penal interest
5) adverse possession
4) reciprocal negative servitude
3) Terry stop and frisk
2) the naked summons
1) the wild deed
In which I complain about the law some more and try not to forget the baby
I haven't posted, not because there is nothing going on, but every time I want to I'm just overwhelmed with everything that is going on.
Right now I'm studying over 12 hours a day. The bar is July 26-28, but we have to leave Mon. morning to drive to Albany, so really I only have a week left to cram all of this law into my brain. The first day is NY. It consists of 200 multiple choice questions on NY law, 3 thirty-minute essays, a lunch break, then 2 more essays and a 90 minute practical task, like writing a memo, brief, or will. Day 2 is the multistate day, which we'll also take in Albany. That's just 200 multiple choice questions. That night we drive down to Secaucus, and the third day is just NJ, which is 7 essays.
NY tests Torts, contracts/sales, NY Practice, Criminal Law and Procedure, Evidence, Real Property, Constitutional Law, Mortgages, Commercial Paper, Secured Transactions, Federal Jurisdiction, Corporations, Agency and Partnership, Conflict of Laws, Personal Property, No-fault insurance, Worker's Comp., Wills, Trusts, Professional Responsibility, and Domestic Relations. The multi-state day and NJ pretty must just test Fed. Jur., Contracts, Torts, Crim. law/pro, Evidence, Real Property, and Con. law.
So that's why I'm kind of a zombie right now.
In other news, Henry is still long and skinny. He crawls very fast, pulls himself up to stand wherever there is something to grab onto, coasts between furniture, eats cheerios and teething biscuits, responds to "jumpin' jumpin' jumpin'" by complying, stops when I say "no", and claps his hands. He loves songs and books and likes to watch Sesame st. for about 10 minutes before he is ready to be on the move again. He also loves to play in the sand on the beach and go for walks with Grandpa.
Right now Greg and Henry are at a pool party with some friends from church, and Mommy is supposed to be home studying, so I'd better get to it!
Right now I'm studying over 12 hours a day. The bar is July 26-28, but we have to leave Mon. morning to drive to Albany, so really I only have a week left to cram all of this law into my brain. The first day is NY. It consists of 200 multiple choice questions on NY law, 3 thirty-minute essays, a lunch break, then 2 more essays and a 90 minute practical task, like writing a memo, brief, or will. Day 2 is the multistate day, which we'll also take in Albany. That's just 200 multiple choice questions. That night we drive down to Secaucus, and the third day is just NJ, which is 7 essays.
NY tests Torts, contracts/sales, NY Practice, Criminal Law and Procedure, Evidence, Real Property, Constitutional Law, Mortgages, Commercial Paper, Secured Transactions, Federal Jurisdiction, Corporations, Agency and Partnership, Conflict of Laws, Personal Property, No-fault insurance, Worker's Comp., Wills, Trusts, Professional Responsibility, and Domestic Relations. The multi-state day and NJ pretty must just test Fed. Jur., Contracts, Torts, Crim. law/pro, Evidence, Real Property, and Con. law.
So that's why I'm kind of a zombie right now.
In other news, Henry is still long and skinny. He crawls very fast, pulls himself up to stand wherever there is something to grab onto, coasts between furniture, eats cheerios and teething biscuits, responds to "jumpin' jumpin' jumpin'" by complying, stops when I say "no", and claps his hands. He loves songs and books and likes to watch Sesame st. for about 10 minutes before he is ready to be on the move again. He also loves to play in the sand on the beach and go for walks with Grandpa.
Right now Greg and Henry are at a pool party with some friends from church, and Mommy is supposed to be home studying, so I'd better get to it!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Doing it All
There's no such thing.
Today I saw Henry for a groggy hour in the morning, during which I tried to coax him into drinking some formula, put Sesame street on for as long as my mommy-guilt would allow, then did my best to persuade him to go back to sleep. I then saw him for about an hour before he went to bed.
Now I'm up studying and while I'm glad that Henry is asleep, I'm also feeling so unfulfilled with how today went. How do those moms do it? The ones that wake up before the baby, make some fresh homemade baby food, do their hair, and go off to work, all before the time I'm pulling myself out of bed in the morning. At this point, I can't even imagine having the wherewithal in the morning to nourish my spiritual side.
I think I'm just going to have to face facts: I'm no super-mom. If I'm going to survive next year, it's going to have to be by forgoing my plan to work. I know. I could get child care. But every job that I would have wanted is not an 8-hour a day, get home in time for dinner sort of gig. Before I got pregnant I was looking into working for tax firms, corporations, maybe even the IRS. While there are tax jobs out there that aren't as bad as the Big Law jobs, none of them are quite flexible enough for the kind of mommy that I want to be.
I might be able to do it all, but I certainly couldn't do any of it very well. So it looks like things are about to get interesting as we plan to become a one-income family of three.
Today I saw Henry for a groggy hour in the morning, during which I tried to coax him into drinking some formula, put Sesame street on for as long as my mommy-guilt would allow, then did my best to persuade him to go back to sleep. I then saw him for about an hour before he went to bed.
Now I'm up studying and while I'm glad that Henry is asleep, I'm also feeling so unfulfilled with how today went. How do those moms do it? The ones that wake up before the baby, make some fresh homemade baby food, do their hair, and go off to work, all before the time I'm pulling myself out of bed in the morning. At this point, I can't even imagine having the wherewithal in the morning to nourish my spiritual side.
I think I'm just going to have to face facts: I'm no super-mom. If I'm going to survive next year, it's going to have to be by forgoing my plan to work. I know. I could get child care. But every job that I would have wanted is not an 8-hour a day, get home in time for dinner sort of gig. Before I got pregnant I was looking into working for tax firms, corporations, maybe even the IRS. While there are tax jobs out there that aren't as bad as the Big Law jobs, none of them are quite flexible enough for the kind of mommy that I want to be.
I might be able to do it all, but I certainly couldn't do any of it very well. So it looks like things are about to get interesting as we plan to become a one-income family of three.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Old Friends
I went to a bridal shower today and ran into some old friends I hadn't spoken to since middle school. It was interesting, once I got past the initial small talk, to look at them and try to answer the questions.
The questions, however they were actually phrased, were these: "Who are you? What have you done with what you had all those years ago? How did you grow up? What did you care about enough to work for?"
In some ways the answer was easy. I wasn't embarrassed to say I was happily married, with a beautiful baby boy. That I had just finished law school and was studying for the bar. But part of me was disappointed. I thought back to how I was back then, so hopeful, so sure that everything I wanted would work out. I talked to a friend who had always shared my love of literature and dream of one day becoming a writer. (I say "becoming" a writer to mean writing full time. I still maintain that you are a writer if you write, published or not).
For a number of reasons, this dream has always been put on the back-burner for me. I didn't have time, I didn't have experience, I couldn't afford it. And now, with school over and the end in sight (the end of constant studying, that is), many of those excuses will be stripped away, and the deeper reasons will be all that is left. These are that I am insecure, that I am afraid of being judged, that I am afraid that I will never be able to express what I have to say.
One of the hardest parts about writing is that the more you do it the more you find to criticize about yourself. This can be good, but it can also be so hard. The tough part is not the ideas; the inspiration. I can honestly say I've never had writer's block. The tricky part is the labor. The organization, the editing, the nitty gritty toothbrush-scrubbing work of fixing individual sentences. Basically, it's hard work.
But it's also familiar and comforting. It's one of the only things that I feel like I was born to do. And when I do get an hour to write, it's like coming home, or like catching up with an old friend.
The questions, however they were actually phrased, were these: "Who are you? What have you done with what you had all those years ago? How did you grow up? What did you care about enough to work for?"
In some ways the answer was easy. I wasn't embarrassed to say I was happily married, with a beautiful baby boy. That I had just finished law school and was studying for the bar. But part of me was disappointed. I thought back to how I was back then, so hopeful, so sure that everything I wanted would work out. I talked to a friend who had always shared my love of literature and dream of one day becoming a writer. (I say "becoming" a writer to mean writing full time. I still maintain that you are a writer if you write, published or not).
For a number of reasons, this dream has always been put on the back-burner for me. I didn't have time, I didn't have experience, I couldn't afford it. And now, with school over and the end in sight (the end of constant studying, that is), many of those excuses will be stripped away, and the deeper reasons will be all that is left. These are that I am insecure, that I am afraid of being judged, that I am afraid that I will never be able to express what I have to say.
One of the hardest parts about writing is that the more you do it the more you find to criticize about yourself. This can be good, but it can also be so hard. The tough part is not the ideas; the inspiration. I can honestly say I've never had writer's block. The tricky part is the labor. The organization, the editing, the nitty gritty toothbrush-scrubbing work of fixing individual sentences. Basically, it's hard work.
But it's also familiar and comforting. It's one of the only things that I feel like I was born to do. And when I do get an hour to write, it's like coming home, or like catching up with an old friend.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Dear Karem Alvarez of Trenton NJ
Why did you cash my money order that was supposed to go to the NJ Board of Bar Examiners?
BUSY!
Finished up finals, graduated from law school, had great graduation party.
Started BarBri classes.
Henry turned 7 months, sits up, stands holding onto something, eats cookies.
Started BarBri classes.
Henry turned 7 months, sits up, stands holding onto something, eats cookies.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Back in the Saddle
Where are the posts? You may ask.
Well... I actually have been writing posts, just not publishing them.
You see, I decided as we neared the finish line with law school finals to try and kick start a little weight-loss program. I bought the 30-day shred and began doing it, writing posts each day about what I ate, what I weighed, and how I felt doing the work-out. But...
After day four we left for our typical end of the year vacation to Lancaster, Pa. I was all set with my dvd, mat and weights in tow. However, when we arrived we couldn't get a dvd player and Henry went to bed too early and our room was too small to do it anyway. So I thought, o well, I can use the gym while I'm here. But the resort that we've been going to since before I was born has decided to sell half of itself to Double Tree, meaning that to get to the gym I have to go to another building, which would not open with my room card/key thingy.
Ok no biggy, I figure I'll take a brief hiatus from the working out, it's probably good to let my muscles recuperate from all that stuff anyway, right?
Right?
Well, on vacation Henry gets a killer cold, making him cranky almost the whole trip, and he gives it to me by the time we get home, and for the past week I've been lying around the house in a Nyquil induced stupor using up a Costco sized pack of tissues but unfortunately very few calories.
So there you have it. It's supposed to be like day 20 of my awe-inspiring post-lawschool transformation, and instead of planning my return to pre-lawschool jeans, I'm wondering if I can scrounge up a dress to squeeze into for graduation next week.
So what do I do now? I guess get back in the saddle. I've gained about 10 lbs for every time I've gone through finals. Think about it: over three years, that's a lot of study weight. Now it's time to rise like the phoenix from the pile of ashes that was once my corporate tax outline, and emerge the much more educated, much more cynical, slightly smarter, definitely more stretch-marked 25-year-old version of myself. Would it be too much to hope for if this new and improved Grace could ever again wear the contents of those boxes in the attic marked "skinny"? Only time will tell.
Well... I actually have been writing posts, just not publishing them.
You see, I decided as we neared the finish line with law school finals to try and kick start a little weight-loss program. I bought the 30-day shred and began doing it, writing posts each day about what I ate, what I weighed, and how I felt doing the work-out. But...
After day four we left for our typical end of the year vacation to Lancaster, Pa. I was all set with my dvd, mat and weights in tow. However, when we arrived we couldn't get a dvd player and Henry went to bed too early and our room was too small to do it anyway. So I thought, o well, I can use the gym while I'm here. But the resort that we've been going to since before I was born has decided to sell half of itself to Double Tree, meaning that to get to the gym I have to go to another building, which would not open with my room card/key thingy.
Ok no biggy, I figure I'll take a brief hiatus from the working out, it's probably good to let my muscles recuperate from all that stuff anyway, right?
Right?
Well, on vacation Henry gets a killer cold, making him cranky almost the whole trip, and he gives it to me by the time we get home, and for the past week I've been lying around the house in a Nyquil induced stupor using up a Costco sized pack of tissues but unfortunately very few calories.
So there you have it. It's supposed to be like day 20 of my awe-inspiring post-lawschool transformation, and instead of planning my return to pre-lawschool jeans, I'm wondering if I can scrounge up a dress to squeeze into for graduation next week.
So what do I do now? I guess get back in the saddle. I've gained about 10 lbs for every time I've gone through finals. Think about it: over three years, that's a lot of study weight. Now it's time to rise like the phoenix from the pile of ashes that was once my corporate tax outline, and emerge the much more educated, much more cynical, slightly smarter, definitely more stretch-marked 25-year-old version of myself. Would it be too much to hope for if this new and improved Grace could ever again wear the contents of those boxes in the attic marked "skinny"? Only time will tell.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Interesting Article on Motherhood
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704608104575220550194193596.html?mod=wsj_share_facebook
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
In which Henry discovers his feet
Left foot,
Right foot,
Feet, feet, feet.
How many many, feet we meet!
Right foot,
Feet, feet, feet.
How many many, feet we meet!
Our Trip to TN
Overall we had a great time visiting Greg's Dad's house in Tennessee. The flight home was a nightmare and I had a stomach bug, but Greg's family got to see Henry and it was nice to get away even just for the week.
Grandpa-Dad broke out the nice SLR camera for some family photos.
Poor Sam. Phyllis and Wally (Greg's Stepmom's parents)'s dog hurt his foot and we had to improvise with some tape and gauze.
Grandpa-Dad took us to the Memphis zoo, which in my limited experience with zoos, was the best! They had like every animal and it wasn't so big that you couldn't walk everywhere and see everything.
More hippos!
Grandpa Dad and Henry
Checking out the pandas.
Aunt Rachel feeding Henry.
Grandma Phyllis. Poor Henry, so much bald spot.
Henry loved Aunt Allyson and couldn't take his eyes off her!
Aunt Kenzie!
The only one missing was Aunt Erin!
Grandpa-Dad broke out the nice SLR camera for some family photos.
Poor Sam. Phyllis and Wally (Greg's Stepmom's parents)'s dog hurt his foot and we had to improvise with some tape and gauze.
Grandpa-Dad took us to the Memphis zoo, which in my limited experience with zoos, was the best! They had like every animal and it wasn't so big that you couldn't walk everywhere and see everything.
More hippos!
Grandpa Dad and Henry
Checking out the pandas.
Aunt Rachel feeding Henry.
Grandma Phyllis. Poor Henry, so much bald spot.
Henry loved Aunt Allyson and couldn't take his eyes off her!
Aunt Kenzie!
The only one missing was Aunt Erin!
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