Craft Projects make me Happy!

Things are looking much better around here. I'm really trying to focus on the enjoyable parts of my life and not get too bogged down with worrying about the stressful details. Now when I come home from work, instead of frantically trying to clean my apartment, I just do something fun and relaxing for a little while. Lately I've been working on some fun sewing projects, possibly baby gifts. I have always liked to sew but never really did anything that required a lot of skill or experience. This means I'm sort of nervous to invest in nice materials because I don't want to waste them. I have some vintage chenille bedspread fabric that I've been collecting to use in baby quilts, and lately I've been drooling over some of the designer fabrics I've seen online, especially Moda fabric. While I'd love to stock up on some of this stuff, my budget does not have a lot of room for unnecessary hobby supplies, so I was torn. Luckily I found a really cool site, called fatquarterquilters.com, that sells these sets of small squares of a whole collection of designer fabric. I got several for around 5 dollars a set. I'll try and figure out how to post photos of my quilt tops soon. I'm pretty nervous also about quilting with my machine. I have a pretty nice Kenmore model sewing machine that came with a free quilting foot, but I've never actually used it to quilt.

Since I'm just starting to look online for quilting ideas and advice, I don't know that much about it, but from what I understand, you can buy fabric for quilting in fat quarters, which is a quarter of a yard, but cut more rectangular-ly instead of as a strip. You can also buy layer-cakes, which is around 30 10" squares, usually one of each fabric from a collection. I've seen these from anywhere around 10- 30 dollars, depending on the quality of the fabric. Jelly-rolls are strips of fabric, I think around 2-2 1/2 inches by one yard, all rolled up into a cylinder. I think there are usually around 30 different fabrics in this, sometimes more. These are usually around 25-30 dollars. Finally there are charm packs, which is what I bought. They are 5" or 4" squares, one of each fabric in the collection, and usually this means that there are around 30-50 squares in one pack. I used one pack of 36 to assemble a small baby quilt, but I threw in 6 more squares of chenille to give it a little texture, but the quilt top is still a bit small and I'll probably either try and get another pack or just use more than one border fabric. All in all, if you want to quilt using designer fabrics, these seem pretty good if you don't have a lot of spare cash and you don't want lots of extra fabric going to waste.

In a related craft note. I went to a charity bazaar this weekend and picked up two antique chairs that I want to refinish. The chairs have wood frames and the backs have a little rose carved on them. The seats are very worn fabric. I'm planning on taking off the seats, painting the frames a cottage white, perhaps highlighting the roses with a little pink or silver paint, and then covering the seats with some of my vintage chenille and re-attaching them. I'll try and post pictures of this project too.

Not so bad...

So my sister has pretty much decided not to fight her landlord on the security deposit issue. Even though I know we would win in small claims court, I guess she is just too stressed about the idea of taking a neighbor to court. Frankly I admire her classy approach, although if I were in her shoes I would definitely fight this out. It kind of makes me angry though, that people will take advantage of others that way, betting on the assumption that nice people won't go to court.

I guess if my family is happier losing the money and not having to deal with these trashy people any longer, it's their call. I think I have to stop worrying about these kinds of problems that are outside of my control. Last night I was so angry about this, until I realized that me fuming all night would do absolutely nothing. All it got me was a lousy evening not enjoying being home with my husband. At that point, I really wanted to let it go.

Here is an interesting story from a Christian doctor I know, he is advising someone who lent a relative some money and the relative wouldn't pay it back:

Here are some of my thoughts on the $15K matter:

Although this is water under the bridge, refuse to lend to family and friends because a loan can easily end a friendship, because the moment you accept a loan from me you become, in a sense, my servant. Proverbs 22:7 : "The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender." This can quickly become an uncomfortable situation for both parties as you're experiencing. If we do feel led to financially help someone, it's best to give loans expecting nothing in return. Luke 6:30 : Give [not loan] to everyone that asks of you and if anyone does take what belongs to you, do not demand it back.

Perhaps you should acknowledge to this relative that you may have been in error in allowing him to become indebted to you. I think God's ideal is to keep out of debt altogether. Romans 13:8 : "Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loves another has fulfilled the law." Maybe even ask him to forgive you for compromising God's ideal and explain you want to be a true brother/brother-in-law/cousin/uncle/friend, etc. by helping him to be financially free. As you know, often debt is simply the tip of the iceberg and is a result of various hidden motives to borrow money. Maybe you know your relative's situation well enough or could gather facts from him to determine what his real financial needs are and what spiritual problem(s) may have caused them (ie, greed, slothfulness, impatience, pride, presumption, unbelief.)

If you are still maintaining a good relationship with your relative, and he genuinely is serious about repaying you but simply cannot afford to do so now, perhaps you could sit down with him, assist and patiently help him work out a plan to gradually reimburse you (maybe only in part) as he is able, (Luke 16:1-12) expecting that the financial bondage that your relative is in may take a long time to remove and that you will have to share the burden with him until he is financially stable.

If it's a matter that your relative has chosen to refuse to pay you and relationships have become strained or unpleasant, there are a number of verses which relate to the matter (and which, I grant, are easier for me to quote since it's not my $15,000.) It's likely that your relative will not initiate reconciliation with you (people in this situation are often prisoners of guilt, self-justification, denial, insensitivity or bitterness). God teaches that the offended one must initiate reconciliation. We are to have a forgiving spirit whether or not our offender asks forgiveness. We're to pray for those who offend us (and I don't think it means pray for condemnation on them.) By refusing to forgive an offender, the offended one is in bondage to his own resentment. Forgiveness, complete unconditional forgiveness, is clearing the record with those who have wronged me and then allowing God to love them through me. God was offended by us but he initiated forgiveness and reconciliation. I realize to forgive an offender in this case, is to accept the reality of personal loss, but God always writes the last chapter and His blessing is our greatest asset. When we release a debtor God releases unexpected blessing in our lives. I Peter 3:9: "Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise, blessing; knowing that you are thereunto called that you should inherit a blessing." I think Matthew 18:21-35 stresses the importance of forgiving your brother's sin against you and seems to make it clear that we should forgive financial debts that people refuse to pay us. A person who has a forgiving spirit is conscious of the great debt he owes to God and is willing to release others from the debt which they owe him. Another verse which came to mind relating to debt was Matthew 6:12 : "...forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Furthermore, if you relative is a Christian, I Corinthians 6:1-10 advises that the Christian should not go to law with a brother in civil courts -- that it's better to suffer being taken advantage of. People who do not initiate forgiveness toward an offender, miss out on the benefits which could come from reconciliation including elimination of bitterness and an unforgiving spirit, the consequence of which could be a breaking of fellowship with God. The temporal debts others may owe us are infinitesimal in comparison with the eternal debts we owe to God. Thus, to forgive our debtor is the bargain of a lifetime.

Over the years, I have had many dental debtors which I have dealt with in a wide variety of ways depending on a number of factors. I can say that I have never regretted forgiving them when I have felt led or convicted to do so. Here's an example. Back in March, 2006 a couple from St. Paul 's amassed a significant dental bill, and then moved out of town, even out of state, without paying. After some repeated months of billing them and hearing nothing, I sent the following letter:

"It seems apparent to me that this debt is causing you hardship and that your needs at this time are greater than mine. Further, the best I can understand the teachings of Jesus Christ, we are to "share one another's burdens," and should forgive others to the extent that He has forgiven us.

I am therefore forgiving you this debt, and canceling your account balance with this office in the amount of $____. I am prayerful that this is done to the glory of God and the furtherance of His Kingdom. Hope you folks are doing well in_____."

I heard nothing. Then in December of that year, I received the following letter:

"Dear Doc,

Greetings in our Lord Jesus Christ. Your letter to us a few months ago took both of us aback. Your faith and your forgiveness of our debt was a real blessing to us. Please bear with me for a moment while I tell you something. Back in 2002, right before we moved there to Ocean Grove, on one of our many visits there, we attended one of the services at St. Paul 's church. I believe it was one of the first in the church. Before that we attended many on the beach pavilion. Anyway, for some reason, I never liked it much when missionaries spoke at churches in the past. ??? I don't know why. But on this particular day you were there speaking about your missionary journeys. Dale you are one of the few missionaries who touched and blessed my heart. I know it wasn't you talking about pulling teeth and such, but your faith and the Spirit speaking through you. You really blessed me then and in the future when we moved there. That has stuck with me now and you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Anyway, when we got your letter we decided that one day we would like to be a blessing to you and your mission. As God has blessed us, please use this for your missionary work, or any way God moves you to use it. Thank you again for the many ways that you have been a blessing to us and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers."

Enclosed was a check for an amount about 30% greater than what I had originally forgiven. This is just one of a number of examples of these situations that I could relate to you.

Seems to me in a situation like this, some questions you need to ask yourself are:

Who does my money really belong to?

Am I willing to compromise convictions or relationships for money?

...and then determine what amount God would have you give to your relative as well as what other counsel and direction you can give to him.

There's my input for what it's worth. I'm not going to ask you anything about what you decide to do and will continue to pray for you to have wisdom in dealing with this matter.

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Move...

On the Brighter Side - Adoption

Despite all of the drama going on with my family's rental house, there is one cool thing to be excited about: My sister and her husband have decided that they want to adopt a baby boy from Ethiopia. They are not sure how the time frame will work out, especially if my sister also gets pregnant, but they both feel like they know what country to look at. Since adoptions take so long and cost so much, they want to get the ball rolling right away. I'm trying to think of some ideas for how to help them raise the cash to fund all of the travel and fees. One idea I had was to sell some of my homemade baby gifts, either on etsy.com or ebay, but to advertise the purpose of the sale. I make baby quilts, garments and toys as gifts for fun, so I already kind of have a stash of stuff and supplies. Does anyone know of more good ways to raise funds for an adoption?

Tough Day - Security Deposit Debacle

So, today I had some frustrating news. My sister and parents own a house in a historic town (aka - houses are OLD) and wanted to renovate. They felt that it would be cheaper to just move out and empty the house in order to do major repairs, so they looked into renting an apartment. It seemed too good to be true when our neighbors (attorneys who live in another state) offered us their house to rent. The house seemed perfect for our purposes, (although kind of grotty), so we ended up living there for about a year and a half. Well, our house is looking pretty good, and we moved back in mid-June, but still hadn't received our security deposit in the mail.

My sister emailed the landlord, who stalled for a while, and now she is saying that the house was "too dirty and grimy" to rent again, and she would have to keep the 2,000 deposit to have the house cleaned and to make repairs. I know for a fact that the rental house was much cleaner when we left than when we moved in! In fact, I thought at the time that my family really went overboard to make the house rental-ready, (repairing stuff, repainted chipped walls, and cleaning very thoroughly). So I'm not sure whether the owner is just relying on her real estate agent, who may be blaming us for the slow rental market, or whether the owner is crazy or just trying to take advantage of my family. Or maybe she just didn't realize the condition of the house when we moved in? Either way, this situation is so frustrating to me.

I looked up the law about security deposits in my state, and I'm pretty sure that even if the house was dirty (which it wasn't) she would not be allowed to deduct cleaning expenses from the security deposit. Also, by waiting longer than 30 days to give the deposit back and by failing to provide us with an itemized list of damages, I know that in small claims court she would owe us double the deposit. However, my too-sweet-to-deal family won't even consider asking a lawyer what to do, let alone harbor the idea of taking their neighbor to small claims court. What should I do in this situation? Is it better to make nice with a cheating neighbor than get the court involved? Before I went to law school I would have thought that anything involving an attorney would be extreme, but now I just see this as a fair way to settle a dispute. As a Christian, is it wrong to take someone to court like this, even if you're in the right?

Young Startup

This is my first attempt at blogging, so forgive me if it takes a while for this to feel natural. I'm 23. I'm married (for over a year now) to my soul mate. I'm in law school, I just finished my first year and am working at a firm for the summer. I'm a Christian, born-again, Jesus-freak, whatever you want to call it. This makes me lonely at law school. I have lots of friends, but there are no other Christians in my section that I've met. This is hard because law school also makes it hard to participate in a church. I make it a rule not to bring up my beliefs with my friends, which is why I'm soooo happy when they ask about them.
Right now I'm trying to decide what to do with my life, because I could really care less about my career. For me, the law is just one way to get a job and make money so I can do the things I really enjoy. Those things are also less clear than they used to be, but mostly include spending time with my husband and my family, making great food and entertaining people, and doing anything creative with my hands, (sewing, building, painting, even writing I would take!)
I am trying very hard now to be grateful for all of the great things in my life, but I have to admit that I've been a bit depressed. My job does not leave me with any free time, which means I feel guilty about: not calling my friends back, not cleaning my apartment, making my husband do laundry, dishes, and food prep when his job is also hard, not working out/planning healthy meals, not visiting my Mom-Dad-Sister-Brotherinlaw when I know they miss me, not working extra hours to pay off Debt, not going to church, not helping anyone else.
I guess this blog is sort of my attempt to put down all of this so I don't have to carry it around anymore. Perhaps if anyone has a suggestion about multi-tasking? I don't know, or possible careers for a lawyer that don't involve selling your soul to partners who are convinced of their infallibility for just enough money to qualify for a mortgage on a 2 B home for 1 million?