Doing it All

There's no such thing.

Today I saw Henry for a groggy hour in the morning, during which I tried to coax him into drinking some formula, put Sesame street on for as long as my mommy-guilt would allow, then did my best to persuade him to go back to sleep. I then saw him for about an hour before he went to bed.

Now I'm up studying and while I'm glad that Henry is asleep, I'm also feeling so unfulfilled with how today went. How do those moms do it? The ones that wake up before the baby, make some fresh homemade baby food, do their hair, and go off to work, all before the time I'm pulling myself out of bed in the morning. At this point, I can't even imagine having the wherewithal in the morning to nourish my spiritual side.

I think I'm just going to have to face facts: I'm no super-mom. If I'm going to survive next year, it's going to have to be by forgoing my plan to work. I know. I could get child care. But every job that I would have wanted is not an 8-hour a day, get home in time for dinner sort of gig. Before I got pregnant I was looking into working for tax firms, corporations, maybe even the IRS. While there are tax jobs out there that aren't as bad as the Big Law jobs, none of them are quite flexible enough for the kind of mommy that I want to be.

I might be able to do it all, but I certainly couldn't do any of it very well. So it looks like things are about to get interesting as we plan to become a one-income family of three.