My surgery was supposed to happen last Friday, but has now been postponed until July 1st. The reason for the wait was the conversation that took place with my doctor earlier in the week. We went over the details, what I needed to do, when to get to the hospital, etc. At the end of the appointment, I asked one last question that had occurred to me just that morning. "There's no way I could be pregnant, right? Not when I've been bleeding all this time...." Wrong. And so we will wait another two weeks so that I can take a pregnancy test to make absolutely sure that the procedure won't interrupt anything. I was so frustrated when I walked out of his office. (I'm fairly certain I am not pregnant, but I just have to be sure.) How could I make it another almost three weeks? I was even more confused, because the day before the appointment I had prayed and really just cried out to God about this, and I really felt like He told me that I would be healed soon.
When I got home I spent some time with a friend of mine who had come over to watch Henry while I visited the doctor. (I am blessed to have this good friend who really loves and cares about my son, so I don't feel like I have to ignore him when she is over, she is content to do things that he likes to do.) As we watched Henry play I was reminded of how amazing it was that God used what I was seeing as random events to create such a perfect, marvelous boy. Not only is he beautifully designed, but he has brought so much joy to our entire family. Because of Henry, I'm not working at a job I hate, I'm excited to get up every morning and I'm smiling all day. I appreciate Greg in a whole new way, and in many ways our relationships with our parents are deeper and fuller because they are grandparents. If things had happened according to my plan, I would have missed out on what is now the best part of my life.
Taking a step back to look at what God has done in the past has helped me see that He is working all things for our good. Now if only I could use that knowledge to stop worrying about the future....
It has been 6 days since I spoke to the doctor, and I have had no symptoms at all. I don't know if God just chose to heal me or what. I am just trying to live one day at a time in faith and trust. In the meantime, I will take care of my son, and try to remember that He really does know what He's doing.
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