I mentioned before that Greg and I started the training process to become foster parents. We had our first meeting two nights ago and found out more about how the training will work. We also got a chance to ask some questions.
The trickiest part for me was finding out what I needed to know without mentioning the fact that we will most likely have another baby by April. We will definitely tell the workers eventually, but I just didn't think it was the right time, since we just barely know ourselves!
Do I think we can afford this new baby and a foster child? Definitely. The cost is not the issue.
Do I think we can fit another child into our tiny two-bedroom cottage? Not really, but when it comes down to it, if we get licensed for two kids in Henry's room and a crib in our room then we will make it work.
Do I think I can handle a toddler, a new baby and a foster child? Well, no. And yes. With God all things are possible right?
The real questions that keep coming to me are these: How can I, knowing what I know about the system and the children in need, turn my back on them? What if it were Henry, taken from his home and given to strangers to raise? What if he were given to people who didn't read to him every day, who didn't pray with him, who didn't spend all the time and effort that I do trying to get him to eat something every day? What if he were given to people who just didn't love him, people who take in kids for the monthly stipend?
Thinking about my son this way is horrifying, soul-crushing, heartbreaking. It hurts. It hurts to even think it. But this is what is happening to someone else's baby. This is what is happening to God's children.
So the short answer is... yes. We will still foster. If we have to cram a crib into our little bedroom, if we have to get bunk beds, if we have to stop eating out and get all of our books from the library and wear the clothes we bought five years ago, as long as it's God's will, we will find a way to do it.
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