Resolved

So my friend from law school who (as far as we've ever discussed) does not have a relationship with God, came to church with us tonight. I don't know exactly how it really went, because she is very reserved about religion or any other topic that people usually get offended over. At least nothing happened at church to make me cringe (I was worried about mildly chauvinistic comments, excessive Christianese, and crazy homeless people talking about vajayjays, all of which I've experienced first hand at church). In fact, it seemed fairly tame compared to some other times when I've attempted to bring friends who are not born again to church services.

That said, I know that no church service will make an impact on anyone's heart unless God first softens it up a bit. I'm not going to even begin to pretend like I have a grasp on the whole Calvinist v. free will debate that Christians like to engage in ad nauseum, but I'm pretty sure that without God's help people don't have a chance of seeing the truth. Everything is so cloudy nowadays, or maybe it just always was, I don't know. There are so many lies out there that everyone is taught to believe. All I know is that there have been people in my life that I've argued with and pleaded with and loved and served and cried over, who have never seen the truth. Then there was one friend who all I did was pray for, every day, earnestly, for over a year. This friend is now a leader in his own church. I didn't have to be smart, or cool, or even good to win this soul for Christ. I just asked God and He changed this young man's heart so drastically that I was totally blown away by His power. To this day, when I face doubts, I remember the work that God did in this guy's life and there is no way I can deny His power.

So...I guess the question is do I have the faith to pray for my friend in law school. It is scary, because I really care about her, and I feel like if I pray for her earnestly, and she still rejects Him, then I will be so devastated. And if it comes down to sharing my faith with her, I'm so afraid that I will screw it up and she will miss out on God's awesome love for her. I guess one of my biggest fears stems from the fact that in a lot of ways, she is smarter and even a better person than I am. I'm kind of afraid that she will see a belief coming from me as invalid because of this. But in the end I can't change who I am, and there is no way my foolishness can separate someone from the love of God.

I can only hope and pray that she will meet Him somehow. When I think about the possibility, I remember the difference in my life in the times when I am obedient and communing with Him, and the times when I am far away, and how wonderful it is to be in His presence. When I think through this logically, it makes me amazed that I haven't already been diligently praying for my firend. When I know first hand about the power of the Holy Spirit to move it people's lives I don't know why I never think to intercede in this way. Also, when I think about my friend on fire for Jesus I get really excited, because I think she is a very gifted person to begin with, and I can't imagine what wonderful things God could do through her life.

I'm going now to lay in bed and PRAY!!